I completed the 18 miler my group ran, thanks to the help and encouragement of my coaches. It was pretty tiring, but oddly enough, not too painful. This weekend is the 21-22 miler i've been dreading. I can't imagine finishing it, but then again, I wasn't sure about the 18 either. I just have to remember what we, as runners, do - put one foot in front of the other to move forward. That's it.
As I was watching the frustrating and heartbreaking loss the Eagles had in the Saints game yesterday, I would periodically look at the clock and figure which mile i'd be on during the marathon. I have no idea how i'll do having never done 26.2 miles before - but based on my training, I don't think i'll finish any faster than at a 10 MM pace - which translates to 4 hours and 22 minutes - which is essentially running during an entire football game - and then some.
I have to confess, i'm starting to lose motivation. I haven't been getting in my weekly runs and couldn't peel myself out of bed this past Saturday at 5:30 am when it was a cold 35 degrees and pitch black outside. It's some kind of funk i'm in. Sure, I could go through my room, throw out everything old to make room and unpack my warmer clothes, but why? I should wake up early to do my speed work, but i'd rather sleep in a bit more. I could go to the gym between work and the show tomorrow night to lift some weights, but its too much of a hassle. I get the job done at work, but I could do more. Where is all this coming from? Why now?
Have I made the right choices? It's been over 3 months now and I haven't gotten one offer on my apartment in New York. Should I have stayed? I hate living out of bags, not having my own space, feeling like i'm living in limbo. Perhaps that's why i'm, for the most part, disinterested in most of the men out there i'm coming across (with the exception of one at the moment). Sometimes I feel like I should save myself the aggravation, the dissapointment, the feeling of being disrespected or disregarded. What kind of attitude is that? This isn't like me. Why am I in a funk? More importantly, how do I snap out of it?
4 comments:
i cannot believe you did 18 BY YOURSELF!! i mean, i essentially did it by myself, but at least i had the group to start out with, and without meeting them at the park, i never would have done it.
good. for. you. seriously.
and girl? when you cross that finish line at 26.2, you'll have all the motivation in the world. you'll know why you did it. and i'll be there, cheering you on!!!!
p.s. oh, and about the funk - well, you know i'm the WRONG person to ask!! :) i can wallow with you tho! :)
The best you'll ever feel is when your body is telling you it's exhausted and you keep going.
Don't give up!
an anonymous commentor - that's cool. Thanks for your encouragement guys! It really does make the world of difference for me!
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