Running Anniversary Retrospective - Final Days in New York Part II

In one of the sessions following the Frostbite 10 miler that I ran in January 2006, I told Lee I decided I wanted to try a half-marathon and asked when he thought i'd be ready to do one. He looked at me like I was nuts. He responded something to the affect of "You've already done 10 miles - you could do a half-marathon next week. What you should be focusing on is preparing for a marathon". I thought he was crazy. A week earlier my longest distance had only been about 5 miles and I suddenly jumped to a 10 miler. Now he's talking about 26.2? I have to admit, as impossible as it sounded to me, it also sounded intriguing.

January 2006 I faced a huge turning point in my life. With the support and encouragement of my mother, I decided to quit my job so I could focus on my Graduate school studies full-time. The goal was to complete Grad School by May, put my apartment on the market, and move out of New York. I was contemplating moving to several different places - Las Vegas, Tampa, and Philadelphia were the top three. I actually came close to chosing Tampa when a few job offers came my way. But at some point during the spring, I decided it was time to return home to Philadelphia to start the next chapter in my life.

I have been a member of New York Road Runners since 2004. Having been a member long enough, I was eligible to run qualifying races to be guaranteed entry for the New York Marathon. The catch is, I had to run 9 qualifying races in one calendar year in order to be guaranteed entry for the following year's marathon. Knowing that I was only going to be living in New York for 4 more months, I had to pack nine races in during the spring. When Lee and I had this discussion of me running in a marathon, I had already had 2 qualifying races under my belt in 2006 - a 5 miler the first weekend in January and the 10 miler I had just completed. Only 7 more to go.

The Gridiron Classic race on Superbowl Sunday 2006 was a 4 miler in Central Park - since the Eagles were forced to play their practice squad the majority of the season due to injuries, it was the first time in 5 years I was free from the playoffs in January, so this worked out well for my running strategy (ok - I know what you're thinking people. I have to find someway to comfort myself about last season!!). On February 18, I participated in the Community Heat of the Cross-Country Championships in Van Cortland Park in the Bronx (not too far from my home in Inwood). It was just 6 days after the record breaking blizzard that hit New York. The snow had been cleared from the field and trail in the woods - but I started with 600 other crazy runners in the mud in 18 degree weather as snow flurries started coming down. This was only a 4 k race, and I was cold - so I had to push it to stay warm and really, just to see what I could do. This was the first race where I actually started to see that I could maintain some kind of speed. I finished in 21 minutes - about an 8:30 MM pace. It made me happy. 4 races under my belt and 3 more to go.

All the speed sessions I was doing in my running class seemed to be paying off. Lee began talking to me more about my running, and while he let me be happy about the progress I was making, he wanted me to do more. "I've watched you run - I see your gait and your form - you're going to be running 7 minute miles in no time - you're capable of it". I was struggling to get to the 8:30 mark and he's talking 7 minute miles. "When doing a race, start out slowly - it should feel like you're running to slow - gradually pick it up but conserve energy so that you can sprint in that last mile or few miles" he would tell me.

So the following weekend, February 25th, I ran in another 4 mile race in Central Park. Keeping what he said in mind, I started off at a 9:30 MM pace, which felt slow - the next two miles were in the 8:30 - 9:00 MM range - then, when I hit the final mile marker, I switched gears. It was cold, but I was sweating like a banshee. I was breathing heavy, feeling a little nauseous. The tears in the corner of my eyes began to freeze. I was weaving in and out of runners as I passed them, which took more effort and careful footing. I started to doubt myself. I wasn't prepared well enough to gun this. I didn't look at my watch. I was heading south on the west drive in the park and about to turn left onto the 72nd street transverse. As soon as I made that turn I saw the finish line. Just a little more - I had to push myself - finish strong. As I crossed the mat, I felt like I wanted to vomit as I tried to catch my breath. I looked down at my watch. My mind was a bit disoriented so it was a little difficult to do the math in my head. I was in disbelief at first. 7:22? That could be right. Did I really run that last mile in 7:22? I repeated the math in my head a few more times. And again, did it on paper when I got home. Sure enough - 7:22 was my last mile in that race. Maybe I did have this in my. Lee was right after all.

In March I ran in a 5K in a neighborhood just south of mine in Manhattan called Washington Heights. The highest elevation point in Manhattan is in Washington Heights around 184th Street. This race would start at 168th street and Broadway and head straight up (and down) Broadway into Fort Tryon Park. I met up with Elaine at her apartment in Washington Heights that morning. We were running a bit behind, so much so that as I was running to the start line, the first runners passing me as they had already begun the race. I had to jump into the back with the 11 minute milers and walkers. This was frustrating - I had to weave in and out of all the people - it took me close to a mile to get in with a group of runners that were running about the same pace I wanted to. But all the weaving as well as the hills took it's toll on me.

I knew the course headed into the park but I wasn't sure how far into the park we would go before we turned around. Coming from the south and heading north into the park, we're heading down hill. This was fairly steep grade. We were running, and running, and running - when the hell are we going to turn around? As i'm running down this hill, the faster runners were already running up the hill, breathing heavily. I think we ran a good half mile in this downhill portion before we turned around. What goes down, in this case, also goes up. About halfway up the hill, I was reduced to a shuffle and I desperately wanted to stop and walk the rest of the way. I had burned myself out too early and was not prepared for these hills. But I kept running and I finished and reminded myself I couldn't ignore hill repeats in my workouts anymore.

I ran in 2 more 4-milers in Central Park in April. The Thomas Labrecque run was for cancer - 7000 people showed up that Saturday morning for this race. The Adidas run for the Parks 4-miler weathered a huge rain-storm. I'm not talking a drizzle or even steady rain - the entire 4 miles took place during a downpour. It was chilly and I was soaked - but I had so much fun splashing in the puddles, trying to wipe the water from my eyes so I could see in front of me. Race numbers 7&8 were completed. My last qualifying race would be the last weekend in April and it would be the Queens Half-Marathon - my first and longest race to this date.

This Just In...

I have official confirmation - God is indeed an Eagles fan. Thanks for the Christmas present to Philadelphians and fellow Eagles fans around the world Jesus! I think it all has to do with T.O. being the devil incarnate (with that moron Michael Irvin being the devil's cousin).

Merry Christmas my friends! The Running Retrospective will return later this week.

Running Anniversary Retrospective - Final Days in New York

To bring in 2006, I went in on a shore house down in Ocean City, NJ with a bunch of my friends from high school. New Year's Eve day I decided to go for a 5 mile run on the boardwalk. It was a time to reflect on the past year and mostly, get my head in gear for the upcoming year. I was confused and unhappy at this point in my life. I felt trapped in a job I didn't like because I had a mortgage. I felt trapped because I was just a bit more than halfway through the amount of credits I needed to graduate from Grad school at NYU - and I was very much over New York at this point in time. 12 years had been long enough. I was going to be turning 30 that year - where was I going in life? What do I want? During this run on a crisp morning with no more than a dozen other people on this boardwalk, with the salty sea air, the white crests on the water and the gentle crashing of the waves washing up on shore, this is what I was sorting out in my mind.

I wanted it to be a comfortable 5 miler - the goal was to pace myself. I had never really gone any longer distance than this so I didn't want to burn myself out too early. This was easier said than done. With all of these thoughts running through my head, my adrenaline was pumping and I realized I finished the first mile in just over 8:30, which was fast for me at that time. I was aiming for more of a 10 minute mile pace. I did slow down, but not on purpose. I wasn't at the level to sustain that speed for long. Still, by the end of the run, while it didn't solve my problems or give me any answers, I felt refreshed and ready to tackle whatever was to lay ahead for the next year.

January 3rd, I was back in NY. It was a cold Tuesday night with some snow/rain/hail mixture coming down. It was also the first night of my running class with NYRR. Lee had urged me to sign up for the 10 week running class New York Road Runners offered. I would meet this group every Tuesday night after work on the Upper East Side to do various drills (mostly speedwork) in Central Park. Another one of his clients, Janet, was also in the class. The first drill was about a half-mile warm-up, then a faster tempo mile, with a mile and a half cool down back to the gym. I kept pace right behind the instructor in our mile tempo - it felt ok at first but about a half mile in, it became a bit laborious. I was breathing heaver, squinting my eyes with the rain drops falling off my eyelashes and tiny pieces of hail pelting my face. I had no idea how fast we were going, but I knew I wanted to keep the tempo up, just a few steps behind her the entire time. Lee told me I don't push myself hard enough - that i'm much more capable of what I think I can do and what I actually do in performance. I thought about it, and he's probably right. So even though he wasn't there, I wanted to make him proud.

We turned the corner going up the drive on the west side of the park and would be finishing our tempo mile in front of Tavern on the Green (a famed restaurant in the park). I was running the last few hundred meters of the official New York Marathon - the same one that hundreds of runners and winners had run in the 30 year history of the race. It's pretty cool to think about that in hindsight, but at that moment, I just wanted to finish that damn mile. My lungs burned as I breathed in the cold air, the rain on my face had begun to freeze. I don't think it was any warmer than 30 degrees if that in this dark, blustery night, and all I was wearing were my running tights and mock turtle neck under armor technical shirt - with a hat a gloves. "8:49" one of the coaches yelled out to me as I passed her in front of Tavern on the Green. That is a respectable tempo mile, I thought to myself, considering I was still new to all of this.

The next day I was training with Lee at the gym, telling him about my New Year's run and my first running class. I thought he'd be proud of me, which he was - but it true Lee fashion, he pushed me even harder. He'd tell me I was capable of running 7:30 or 7 minute miles - maybe even sub-7. He also urged me to sign up for a 10 mile race he and Janet were running in three weeks time. 10 miles?!?! I had only done 5 and all of the sudden he wants me to double that in just 3 weeks? He must be insane!! I must be insane, because since he believed in me, I signed up.

It was the third weekend in January, temperature in the 30s. I was about to attempt to run 10 miles for the first time in my life - and in a race situation no less. There were probably about 3000 people there for this two-loop course that ran through central park. I lined up with Lee and Janet and another girl, Elaine, who I had just met on the NYRR website. She was a fellow runner in Washington Heights that I was hoping to be able to meet up with whenever we could to get some runs in together. So the four of us start out at a nice and comfortable pace - probably over a 10 minute mile. This is what Lee kept preaching to me - to start at slow, to feel like it was too slow so that I would warm up and conserve energy to have more of a punch at the end. Well, I got impatient and about 2 miles in, I started to run ahead of the three of them.

"She'll be back" Lee said to Janet - thinking that I was blowing it by picking up the pace too soon. It was pretty amazing - at mile 5, I was feeling great and hadn't let up - and I was about to surpass the longest distance I had ever run. Just past mile 7, I started feeling a bit tired. I hadn't drank or eaten anything during the run - I hadn't tried to eat or drink during a run ever, so now wasn't the time to experiment with it. I would later learn the importance of rehydrating and refueling. I probably slowed down a bit at this point, but oddly enough, Lee and Janet hadn't met up with me or passed me at this point. Janet and I would run about the same pace in our running class, and we were both capable of running in the 8:30 range (for shorter distances). Lee, of course, could be a 6 minute miler if he had been training harder. He was focusing on his cycling at this time, training for century rides - but regardless, he's in top form and fast. But he wasn't doing this for time - he was doing this to run with us.

Before I knew it I was at mile 9 - just 1 mile left to go. Even though I had slowed down a bit - I was still running. Didn't stop once. I knew Lee said to pick it up at the end - but I had to choose the right moment. Too soon and i'd burn out and not finish strong. There was no way I could accelarate for the entire last mile. So with a half mile to go, I started to pick up the pace - which took a bit of effort. But once you spot that banner and the finish line mat, you bolt for it. Well, I did the best kind of bolt of could at that time. I was pretty tired - but still felt elated afterwards. And I was amazed that Lee and Janet never caught up with me. When I met up with them afterwards, it turns out Lee's legs cramped up - to the point where he made Janet move ahead without him. But regardless, he was impressed that I picked it up and never came back. Not only could I pick up speed - but I found I had endurance. The following session in the gym I would have with Lee would have a conversation that would begin to change my whole way of thinking and my life.

Running Anniversary Retrospective - the pre-race era

New Year's 2005, I attended a formal gathering in my best friend Joe's friend's brownstone apartment in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. I knew a few people and had heard of others, but one person that I met that night really made an impression on me. She was a 40 year old woman who was a body builder. A few years back, she had gone through a rough patch while going through a divorce and this is when she turned to working on her body physically which helped her find peace of mind. She had no intentions of becoming a body builder at that time - but she found something she loved and felt good about. She became a certified trainer and now helps others. She inspired me to get back out there and run again. So New Year's Day 2005, it was an unseasonably warm 60 degrees - a beautiful day for a run.

January was an incredible month in 2005, mostly because my beloved Eagles FINALLY became NFC Champions! It had been 24 years since they'd been in the superbowl when I was 5 years old. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to go and my Eagles buddy Joe jumped on board for the Superbowl adventure with me. Just before we headed to Jacksonville, I went to the gym one day after work. My contract with the gym was about to expire, so they tried to persuade me to sign a new contract and part of the persuasion was to get a free session with a personal trainer.

I had worked with a personal trainer for about 2 months close to 2 years beforehand. They asked me a bit about my interests and I mentioned running. So they scheduled a session for me with a trainer named Lee who was a big runner and cyclist. Little did I know then that I was to meet the man that would be instrumental in helping me change almost every aspect of my life.

My running was sporadic the first several months I began training with Lee. I started to feel better and feel stronger, but it wasn't as noticable to the naked eye. Lee explained that I had to do more cardio to shed some fat in order to see the muscles I was building. In the fall of 2005, I started running more consistently. Lee kept urging me to sign up for a local NYRR race - they had shorter distance races (around 4 miles) almost every weekend in Central Park. So finally, I bit the bullet and signed up for the Holiday 4 miler the first Saturday that December.

My Eagles buddy Joe had also recently taken up running and I urged him to sign up for the same race. I didn't sleep that much the night before - I was anxious - not knowing what to expect. Would I know how to lace up my chip (the timing device used to track net time for each runner, not the time from when the gun goes off - comes in handy if you dont' get to cross the start line until 10 minutes into the race because you're in the middle of a crowd of 10,000 runners). How would I do?

I met Joe and his friend at NYRR headquarters to pick up our bibs and chips the morning of the race. It was a 13 block walk to the start of the race. I couldn't believe how many people were out there this cold, Saturday morning. It was about 32 degrees and sunny - a crisp cool morning. Race time was 9:30 am - a later start than usual because of the winter temperatures. Joe and his friend lined up in a faster pace group. I decided to line up in the 10 minute mile pace group. The 4 miles that I ran in Central Park that morning is a bit of a blur - All I remember is I ran a comfortable place the entire time and that I felt a huge adrenaline rush when I crossed that finish line. From that moment on, I was hooked.

Running Anniversary Retrospective - the embryonic stage

Yesterday was the official 1 year anniversary of my very first race I ever ran (excluding some of the track meets I participating in during grade school). In December 2005, I ran in New York Road Runners 4 mile Holiday run in Central Park. I was registered to run this event again yesterday (which became a 5 miler due to construction in the park), but found myself as a spectator instead due to an injury i'm sustaining from the marathon. I awaited for my trainer to finish and had a bitter-sweet conversation with him over breakfast about where I came from, how I got there, and what my future holds. I'm going to take the time and through several posts, reminisce and share this part of me with all of you.

The Embryonic Stage of my Running Career

March 2004, I was sitting in my apartment in Inwood, NY, IMing with a friend in my neighborhood who is a personal trainer. I was in my 2nd semester of grad school and despite having a June performance to choreograph for, it was starting to become clear to me that my dancing days were numbered due to my work and school schedule. I was actually ok with this realization because I felt that I had done what I wanted to do with dance in my life. But having danced my whole life, i've always been an active individual. All of the sudden, I was spending the majority of my time behind a desk, in front of a computer. I needed to do something to release all the pent up energy and stress I was enduring. So during this IM conversation, I told my friend Rob that I decided I wanted to take up running.

I lived a few blocks from a park that bordered the water and a forest like setting - flat stretches across fields and killer hills in the woods - a tranquil place for running. The first time I went out there I laced up my crosstraining shoes and majorly overdressed with about three layers of clothes on. Out the door I went and walked 3 blocks to the park. Once I stepped foot in the park I began more of a sprint than a trot. It took about 30 seconds for my lungs to start burning as I was breathing in the cold air. 8 minutes later, I was done - completely out of breath. I just couldn't go anymore. This was going to be much harder than I thought.

The first few months into the spring my running was a bit sporadic. It took me a bit of time to learn to slow down a bit in order to run longer. I made small bits of progress, ran for 10 minutes - then for 15. That May an Inwood resident, 21 year old Julliard student Sarah Fox, was murdered in that park during one of her daily runs. I didn't know many other people who liked to run or who lived by me, so it was somewhat frightening to head out the door alone. They never caught the murderer due to lack of evidence, although they did have a suspect who lived just two blocks from me. At least I knew who to look out for.

By the summer I was running 20-30 minutes comfortably about 3 times a week. It was during this time that I discovered, with the help of my doctor, that I was lactose intolerant. She gave me orders to cut all products out of my diet that contained dairy or lactose for six months. It was difficult but a relief at the same time because I had been feeling sick for so many months. I started reading labels on foods - you'd be surprised at how many processed foods contain some kind of dairy or lactose. All of the sudden, I was only eating vegetables, fruit, chicken, whole wheat pastas and breads - no junk food or drinks what so ever. Between my diet and the running I was doing, my weight dipped down into the 120s which was my weight during my peak dancing days (at 5'8" being around 130 is actually healthier for me).

The summer of 2004 was good for me - I felt great, I found a new job with a hefty increase in salary, I took the summer off from grad school to regroup, and I really enjoyed running. The summer ended and so did my good fortune. A new school semester kept me busy as did the stress of working for a less than pleasant new boss. As the stress piled on, the running become a bit more infrequent. I was agitated and feeling unhappy - a somewhat promising long-distance relationship fell sour. The biggest blow of all was receiving a phone call from my OB/GYN telling me I had cervical cancer. The late fall and winter days were dark, both figuratively and literally. I was exhausted. I felt so alone. The early days of my newfound love of running came to end and for the next few months, it was difficult enough just to get myself out of bed in the morning, let alone get out there in the cold for a run.

What it's like to be a Philadelphia Sports Fan

This is my life. This is the heartbreak i've endured. With the current state of Philadelphia sports, it doesn't look like it's going to be getting any better anytime within the next decade or so. But still, i'll wear my teams colors, i'll scream my head off, i'll freeze (or sweat) my butt off, i'll laugh and i'll cry. No matter what - i'll always be a true Philadelphia Sports fan.

CAN World Strongest Dad - Dick and Rick Hoyt Part 2

This is a mini-documentary about Team Hoyt. Enjoy!

Can World's Strongest Dad

This is a father and son team, Rick and Dick Hoyt, who have run 24 Boston Marathons, countless triathlons including the elite Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. Google Rick and Dick Hoyt and you'll learn more about their inspiring story. Thanks to my cousin Natalia for sharing this with me.

Marathon Photos

My First Marathon

I woke up at 4 am - an hour before my alarm was set to go off. I was in and out of slumber that last hour but jumped out of bed at 5 on the dot. I suppose I was a little anxious. I got downtown at about 6:45 and headed to the back of the art museum where the other Phillyfitters would be. Everyone was in good spirits, sharing last minute advice and encouragement with each other. We got to the starting area just before 8 am. I met a mother/daughter team while waiting to start from Lancaster who were running the half-marathon. The marathoners and half-marathoners were interspersed within each other at the start - so needless to say it was a bit crowded. The weather was perfect, about 40 degrees at the start and mostly cloudy but dry.

I didn't cross the starting line until 8:15 am and almost immediately began to feel the lactic acid buildup in my shins. I knew the feeling would pass by mile 3 and fortunately, having my name on my singlet distracted me from the pain because of the spectators cheering on my name. Just before we hit mile 2 a man in a powder blue tuxedo and another dressed in drag with a red dress, lipstick, hat and purse ran past me. I love people with personality and humor like that. While to most people, the thought of pushing your body to run 26.2 miles isn't fun, to those of us who, it has to be fun. Otherwise, why else do it?

4.5 miles in I got a call from Jenna saying she, PJ, and Beth were at Independence Hall, which was about the 5 mile mark. I was so excited when I spotted them as I was running up 6th Street. They were ready with cameras, pretzels, gatorade, candy, vaseline, signs and cheers. I was still feeling fine at this point but seeing them made me feel even better. As I headed down Chestnut street the next few miles it was packed with people on both sides. Every few steps, someone was shouting my name and I made a point to look at them, smile, and give a thumbs up.

When we made a right turn onto 34th street, I noticed there was a bit of an incline. We ran past fraternity and sorority houses at Drexel (or is it Penn?) and I wondered if the frats guys had even been to sleep yet. At this point, I felt that uncomfortable feeling on the instep of my left foot again. This was about 8 miles into the marathon and I knew i'd just have to ignore the blister that was going to form, pop, and rub off all in the course of the run.

Just past mile 9 as I was about to head up a not so nice hill to Memorial Hall in the park, Jenna, PJ, and Beth were there again - cheering, holding up signs, giving me pretzels. I didn't know when i'd see them again, so it was a nice surprise. I was still feeling fine at this point but with my foot starting to hurt, I told Jenna I was probably going to need her to run me in at the end. On I went up what was going to be the biggest climb in the marathon (in my mind anyway), and at the top of the hill, Stan and Carole, two of the coaches from phillyfit were there blowing their whistles with their big foam hands cheering on all the runners. I had on my phillyfit singlet so it was easy for them to spot me, as they screamed my name. It was a nice treat to have at the top of the hill.

The next few miles were lonely in the park. No crowds. Just quiet runners. There was a shooting pain traveling up my leg everytime I landed on my left foot. In the park is where the marathoners were seperated from the half-marathoners. I thought to myself how nice it would be to ony have two miles left as oppossed to the 15 miles I still had to run. But, I had to press on, and again, around mile 12 or so was the dynamic cheering crew of Jenna, PJ, and Beth. Besides my foot pain and shin discomfort in the beginning, I was actually feeling great and ran a steady and comfortable pace for the first half of the marathon.

When we came down West River Drive and began to head around the art museum, large crowds had gathered to catch the marathon winners. Yes, it's humbling when you're only halfway through and someone is about to finish - but then again, i'm not a Kenyan. As I started down Kelly Drive, heading towards Manayunk, two more Phillyfit coaches, Stephanie and Diana were there to cheer me on. And just a few hundred meters past them I ran into my head coach Patrick, who ran a few steps with me, telling me I looked good, to keep up the relaxed pace and just run this race mentally from here on out.

During this whole time, I was getting numerous text messages from people - Kelly, Jim, Dana, Dan, Whitney - you'd be surprised at how much a few words from someone who is thinking of you remotely while you're doing this thing really helps. I ran the 15 and 21 miler training runs without any walk breaks and was feeling comfortable up until this point. But for some reason, when I approached mile 15, my legs started to tighten and my stride became more of a shuffle. The more I shuffled, the more my right hip and lower back started to throb. It's too early to be feeling this, I thought to myself. I still had 11 miles to go.

My mother was at mile 17 with my refreshments, so I pulled over to the side to stretch as I refueled. I was tired and hurting, but still in good spirits. She asked if I was going to be able to do this and I said absolutely. There was no way I wasn't going to finish this thing. As we passed Falls Bridge and strolled down the ramp into Manayunk, a runner came up to me and said "your shirt has been inspiration to me for the past 4 miles". The back of my shirt had a "No Whining" message on it. It made me smile.

Manayunk was crazy - the spectators were huge here in getting us through miles 19 - 22. I was running out of energy and the course was either uphill or downhill these several miles - so I adopted a run-walk strategy. People were still shouting my name and I knew Jessi, my goddaughter Katie, and Dave were at Shurs Lane and Main street. I was running past them initially but signaled to them that i'd stop when I was coming back on the downhill. When I got to the turn around on Main Street, someone else shouted "Nicole" and I gave my thumbs up and a smile. He shouted my name again and I realized it was my friend Andrew. I wasn't expecting to see him there so it was a very welcome surprise at a crucial turning point in the race. The dreaded 20 mile mark when you'd start what they call the second part of the race, which is the final 10K.

Everytime I saw someone I knew, that adrenaline rush carried me for several hundred meters following, and seeing Andrew there at that time helped me get back to Jessi and the gang at mile 21. I stopped to chat with them, eat swedish fish, and stretch. I was in pain, but it didn't matter - I just couldn't stop smiling. My almost 7 year old goddaughter Katie grabbed my hand to run a little ways with me - and she actually started pulling me along! It was a precious moment for me and I think a future marathoner was born in that moment in Katie. So I hugged her goodbye and told her i'd see her at the finish line.

As I left Manayunk, the exit ramp back to Kelly Drive kicked my butt and I had to slow to a walk again. When I got off the ramp, my mother was there again for the last bit of encouragement she could give me. Now, on Kelly Drive, I was at mile 22 and I only had 2.5 more miles to go before I would catch up with my cousin Natalia and friend Jamie. I had just missed them when I passed the art museum at the half way mark and they had waited all this time to see me. This was some of the longest miles of my life at this point. Mentally, I kept going - I couldn't give up. But physically, my legs just didn't want to go anymore. I'd start a light, stiff jog and pure exhaustion would set in and i'd have to slow to a walk. Everytime I tried to start running again it would take a few steps for me to get my legs under me. This was as entirely new sensation for me. I didn't quite know what to make of it.

I came across the cheering trio of PJ, Jenna, and Beth again - and Jenna was dressed in her running gear, ready to run me in. I was concerned that I still hadn't seen my cousin and Jamie and was looking forward to seeing them for the last 10 miles. Just as I said this I looked across the street, and there they were! They stood around for hours waiting to see me, Jamie and my cousin with her 8 month old daughter. I was so happy to see them and they fed me the swedish fish I requested. I was so overwhelmed with all the support I was receiving and despite my exhaustion and pain, I was in incredibly high spirits. At this point I wasn't even going to finish for myself, but for everyone else out there who was pulling for me. I had to do it for them.

Jenna started running by my side - only 1.5 miles left to go, then i'd be crossing that finish line. This was by far the most difficult stretch for me - to know you're so close but to feel like you're body just might not make it. Jenna shared her words of encouragement which was crucial, but still, I had to take two more walking breaks in this last stretch. A few hundred meters before the finish line, another of our coaches, Sue started yelling my name. I looked at her and knew I had to finish strong. So I started running again, picking up the pace with each step. People were shouting my name left and right - I couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear. I looked to my left and my co-worker Susanne was there to cheer me onto the finish. Jenna pulled out and ran behind the crowd, still yelling at me to finish strong. I kicked into high gear and sprinted to the finish line - throwing my arms up in the air as I crossed the finish line. I did it!! I made it!!! I just couldn't stop smiling!

I am truly overwhelmed by the support so many people gave me through emails, text messages, in person, and being there along the route. I really, truly, don't know if I could have gotten through this without all of you. I don't know what i've done to deserve so many incredibly wonderful friends. I didn't finish this marathon - WE finished this marathon together. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

22 hours 10 minutes...

...until the starting gun is shot at the Philadelphia Marathon!!! WHAT?!?!?!? I can't believe i'm going to be doing this....

Humbling moment

I was rushing to catch the train home at Suburban station today when I was about to go down the stairs but stopped short because a homeless man on crutches who was amputated above his left knee was hobbling down. I came up next to him and asked if I could help in some way. He lightly touched my arm and said after a pause "Can you buy me some food". I told him to meet me at the bottom of the stairs and i'd get him some food. So I went ahead to a pretzel store and bought water and two soft pretzels. He followed me in just after I paid and said "I have no teeth, I can't eat that. There is a chicken place next door." I don't know how I didn't see he hadn't had any teeth before, so we walked to the next restaurant.

He ordered two legs, one breast, and mashed potatoes. As I was about to pay, a security guard came in and said "I'll take care of him" to the cashier. At first I thought he was going to remove him from the establishment, and that made me angry. But then he repeated himself and said "i'll buy him whatever he wants". I told him I was taking care of it and he smiled. The homeless man, who was slow and warn looked at me and said graciously and softly "thank you and god bless you." I ran out of there to try to catch my train and just a few steps from the eatery I ran into another homeless woman. She looked at me timidly, so I grabbed into my bag and handed her the soft pretzels I had initially bought. She smiled and said "Oh thank you so much".

It's so simple - basic human needs - food - and they were truly grateful for my kindness. It really wasn't a big deal for me to do it and its something I take for granted. Being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. It's not that this is the first time i'm coming to this realization - I faced it almost every day while living in NY where homelessness is out of control. But at times I am more affected by it when I think of the "problems" I think I have when in comparison, i'm am a very fortunate individual and I am no more deserving of my fortunes than those two homeless people I came across this evening. I still don't understand why these inequalities exist. It breaks my heart. I need to learn to be more grateful for my life and not pick on the smaller things that are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

On a side note - I've been watching Dancing with the Stars whenever I could this season. I can't believe i'm going to say this - it's really blasphemy being a Philadelphia Eagles fan - but I totally am pulling for Emmit Smith to win! I LOVE watching him dance - and i'm just not a Mario Lopez fan (something to do with screwing a stripper the night before his wedding just doesn't sit well with me).

Woo Hoo!!

I did some speedwork after work last night along Kelly Drive - the weather was perfect for it. I couldn't tell you how fast I was going but it felt great - felt like I was running at a faster pace than usual, even during the recovery minutes. My legs didn't cramp up, my hip was feeling ok, my scabbed up shin wasn't throbbing. My eyes weren't focused down on the ground but I rather just took in everything around me and felt free. As I was heading back to my car in the direction of the Art Museum, I was imagining how I would feel at that spot in just over a week when i'm on mile 24 and 25. Physically, i'll probably be quite tired and achey - but mentally, I want to remember how I felt last night and feel that way again when I approach the finish line.

I'm nervous - i'm very very nervous for the marathon. I get excited butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. I feel quite ill-prepared to be doing this. I don't recall one week where I stuck to the training schedule. I've haven't lifted or taken yoga in weeks - maybe months at this point. My diet has been fairly unhealthy. Why have I faltered when I knew i'd be running in my first marathon this November? I really couldn't tell you. I know i'm stressed out and unhappy with how a few things in my life have turned out. Transition is stressful - but it's not an excuse to lose focus. I just have to put it all behind me now and just put everything I have into running and crossing that finish line at mile marker 26.2.

13 days...

...till I run in my First Marathon!!! As I was watching the NY Marathon on TV yesterday, it hit me - I'm actually going to be doing this! I remember watching the NY Marathon last year when I was still living in New York - at that time I was only contemplating running in my first race which was a 4 miler in December. Now, here I am a year later, about to tackle 26.2 miles on November 19th in the Philadelphia Marathon. I started training over the summer and to be blunt, it's been the toughest time of my life, physically and mentally. I've been plagued with illness and injury for the past few months which included two trips to the ER - major setbacks. The last injury was just last week as I fell running at night, scraping the skin off of my shin.

People ask me why i'm doing this - they think i'm nuts - I sacrificed my Friday nights to wake up before dawn to get 10, 15, 18, and 21 mile runs in with my training group on Saturday mornings. I'm hobbling, i'm tired, and many times, I felt mentally defeated. But it's these moments that make you that much stronger when you push through. Some of you know and for other's, this may come as a surprise - In November 2004, I had cancer removed from my cervix. It was a very dark period in my life and running is what I turned to to get out my frustration. I set the goal of running my first marathon when I turned 30 in my hometown - to beat the cancer (which has been gone since that surgery) - to beat all the negative forces in my life.

So while it hasn't been an easy journey, the day is finally here -and i'm excited and nervous and really can't wait to get to the finish line.

Some of you are in the area - some of you are far away. What i'm asking at this time is for your support - I'm not sure i'll be able to get through it without you. I would be eternally grateful if you could make it out to the course to cheer me on, armed with bite sized hard pretzels, swedish fish, and gatorade (I know it sounds weird- those are the things i've learned I can stomach while running). If you can't, you can send me wishes by text messaging me on my cell (email me if you don't have the number) or leaving comments on this blog. For those that will be there, i'm planning a lunch get together somewhere in Center City to watch the Eagles game at 1 pm. Details about that will follow later.

Information about the marathon, including course map, cheer zones, etc. Can be found at www.philadelphiamarathon.com. I really have no idea how long it'll take me - it depends on so many factors - the weather, the crowd of runners, how my legs feel, etc. - the best guestimate as to where i'll be at certain miles is to add 10 minutes to each mile - So I should be getting to mile 5 at around 8:50 am (since the race starts at 8 am), etc. I may stop to eat, drink, and stretch along the way so more time might be added on to each mile towards the end of the race. I'm anticipating getting to the finish line at the Art Museum around 12:30 pm.

Thank you all for being such great friends!

Love,

Nicole

Beautiful fall day

I decided to do my long run along Kelly Drive today while the sun was setting. The air was crisp, the sky clear and initially bright making the river sparkle and the changing/falling leaves so vivid.

Today was the New York Marathon. I remember watching it on TV last year when I was still living in New York, only contemplating running my first race which would be a mere 4 miler. Now, here I am, watching the race with new found excitement for it, because i'll be doing the same thing in just 2 weeks!! How much difference a year can make!!

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

I've been struggling lately - feeling unhappy. Then I came across this - it made me break down and cry but leaves you with such a warm feeling. I hope it leaves you with a smile. Enjoy!

Bloody Runner

I didn't think I was going to dress up in costume for this Halloween - but it turns out I did take on a persona - the bloody runner. Running in daylight during the week now is not an option - sunrise isn't until 6:30 am, the time that I should be in shower, getting ready to go to work - and when I leave work now it's dark. But, tonight being Halloween and only needing to get an easy 35 minute run in, I decided to run on the sidewalks in my neighborhood. I knew it would be safe with all the parents ands kids out trick or treating. Since it's warm today, I headed out in my shorts and tank. 20 minutes in, I was feeling good, when all of the sudden, I tripped, fell, and slide on my knees, shins, and palms of my hands down a hill. The sidewalk was uneven and it was not well lit at all. Ouch! I didn't know what hit me. It hurt. I was about 5 blocks from my house. So I started walking home - blood running down my legs. Walking among the kids in their costumes, I was the bloody runner.

Flowers

I haven't run since my 21-miler. My hip, for the most part, feels good and my foot has mostly healed. I'll go on an easy run tomorrow morning to get back on schedule but I only have 2 and a half more weeks in my taper - then it's the big day! More about that during a later post.

I want to give major props to my girl Jenna for finishing the Marine Corps Marathon in DC this weekend. Jenna works full-time at a law firm, is in law school at night, and despite all this, did whatever training she could and finished her third marathon! She will be part of my inspiration as I try to finish my first 26.2 miler on the 19th.

I was helping out at a haunted house my boss was having for her son and his friends on Saturday and her boyfriend (who is currently not living in Philly), drove up to surprise her - walking in the back door with red roses in his hand. How incredibly romantic! He's a great guy and she looked so happy....it's just the kind of thing I dream of but am doubting i'll actually find. I know, I know - in time it'll happen to me. That's what you all say - but i'm depressed right now (more about that later as well).

Another Flower story - today, my co-worker received a HUGE bouquet of flowers from a "blind date" she met for a mere 10 minutes (yes, it went that well). She has no interest in seeing him again and i'll admit, it's very creepy. But still, after 10 minutes she's having men sending her flowers (and a fruit/candy basket) and what do I get? I get one amazing night of great conversation, chemistry, kissing, cuddling, then..... NOTHING. Maybe a phone call or two, a few emails here and there, but then they dwindle, disappear. Aren't interested in making other plans - there's always some excuse. This isn't just one occassion i'm speaking of - it seems to be a pattern in my life. I know part of my problem - i'm extremely particular. So I feel like the dating pool for me has shrunk. And let's face it - the guys out there that just feel like they're a great fit for me are either married or gay. Argh....i'm just letting off steam....don't mind me.

I woke up this morning and just felt so defeated. I'm very frustrated that I haven't gotten any offers on my apartment in NY. I've dropped the asking price twice already in the four months its been on the market. As the weather is changing i'm trying to pull bags out of the garage with my warmer clothes, but have nowhere to unpack them in my mother's house. A single, independent, 30 year old woman who is used to living on her own should not move back in with her mother after 12 years. But I had no choice - and I love my mother - I just need my own space. I do feel like it is getting in the way of my dating life.

What's most frustrating is Philadelphia Sports. I can't even go into yesterday's game - Those wind gusts were ridiculously frigid in the upper level of the Linc. That was the worst Eagles game i've seen in years and up until this weekend, I was holding on to hope that the three losses in our season were only mental ones that could be corrected and we were a much higher caliber team that would take the NFC East. With the end of season demise of the Phils, the "we can't get started" broad street wusses, and the "we couldn't beat the JV squad at Abington High if we tried right now" Eagles (for numerous reasons, I just can't follow the NBA - so no mention of the 76ers here), I have this sinking feeling that this is a new, dark chapter in Philadelphia sports - no glimmer of hope - just loss after loss after loss - for years to come. Yes, I know, i'm pessimistic. It's Monday...and i'm stressed, and very tired.

48 hour roller coaster

I didn't run for 1o days - and I couldn't tell you why really. I just didn't get my butt out there to do my workouts. So last Wednesday, I decided to do my speedwork after work on Kelly Drive. It was in the 70s and muggy so I was back to shorts and a tank for the run. The 10 minute warm-up was fine, then I picked up the speed. That's when I started laboring - my calves started to flare up and my ankles became so stiff I felt like I couldn't flex them. 15 minutes in I decided to stop to see if I could stretch it out. It was a very painful stretch and came to the realization this wasn't going to be the speed workout I wanted it to be. So I started jogging back to my car slowly - but that didn't last very long either. The lower back and hip pain started to bother me a bit too. I felt so defeated.

I just chalked it up to a bad day and was surprisingly calm and well rested for my long antipated 21 mile run on Saturday. The brightening sky as I was driving to the run was enlightening. About a mile into the run, the sun was bright, the air crisp, the colored leaves falling on the trail was peaceful. About a mile into the run, it became apparent that this guy Jim would be my running partner for the 21 miles. We were both going at a comfortable pace together so it was somewhat unspoken that we would be by each other's side for the next 3 and a half hours.

We had decided to stop at the water stations our coaches set up along the way and use it as a mental refresher. It was much easier to say to ourselves "only 5 miles to the next station" as opposed to "We have 17 miles to go". The first stop at the 4 mile mark was a quick 90 second one and we were feeling good and optimistic. Jim was very upbeat - pointing out the beauty of the open fields we ran through, over the creeks and the dense woods. Just before we were to hit the second station at the 9 mile mark, I asked Jim how he was doing. He said alright, but his hamstring was acting up. So I assured him the next stop was just around the bend and he could stretch while we refueled.

We would be hitting the same stations on the way back, which would be at mile 12 and 17. I think this was the easiest stretch for us. Jim said he got a rush whenever he reaches the turnaround point, which would be at mile 10.5 for us. And it was only 3 miles before we returned to our water station. So at mile 12, we were doing pretty well - still in high spirits - bodies getting a little tired, but still hanging in there. This upcoming 5 mile stretch before we got back to Carole & Stan's (our coaches) water station was a tough one mentally for me during the 18 miler we did two weeks earlier and told Jim this. He ensured me we can't think of the mile markers but just take in the scenery and be happy. It wasn't about time or distance - just finishing.

Surprisingly, I felt ok during this stretch. Jim, on the other hand, started hurting. His hamstrings were getting tight and he would groan slightly every few steps. I tried to remain encouraging - trying to break down the trail for him - "not that far till we hit the highway we have to cross - then we're on the trail back to the station." (I knew the perkiomen trail from Oaks to Schwenksville better than he did because he had missed the 18 miler we did on this course). When we got to Stan and Carole, we had slowed our pace a bit and I was starved. I had eaten and drank at every station and continued to drink in between. But after 3 hours of running, I was just famished. We took our longest rest here at mile 17 while I scarfed down pretzels and swedish fish and drank plenty of gatorade. Jim was hurting - my hip was a little sore but overall, I was just a bit tired.

Only 4 miles to go. After the last stop, we both found it very difficult to start up again. It took a few strides for our bodies to adjust to the jogging motion. For the first 2 miles in this remaining four, my body was just on autopilot. Jim was breather and groaning more heavily. A biking group of teenage boys and a few fathers kept passing us on the trail, but then pulled over every mile and we would pass them. Perhaps it's because I was tired, but I found it a bit annoying. It's at that point when people will walk, or jog, or ride by you and they look all fresh and say Hi to you. It's difficult for me to smile back or squeak out a hi because at this point, i'm starting to feel the pain - i'm pretty sure I have a huge blister on the inside or the arch of my left foot (the same place as the abrasion that sidelined me for three weeks in August on my right foot) and my right hip is very sore. On occasion, a step onto my left foot would send a shooting pain up my left leg. This all came at once - I started to fall apart at mile 19. Both Jim and I are laboring - shuffling along. We knew we were close but it seemed we were never going to get there.

Then, there is that moment, when you come around a bend and see the finish line (which ended up being the parking lot for us). We dug in and motored on home. We both let out a big celebratory yelp and gave each other a high five. We got to our coaches car who had all the bagels and gatorade and other select goodies as well as cheers and applause for us for fininshing the dreaded 21 miler. With the excpetion of the 4 stations we stopped at briefly to refuel, Jim and I ran the entire 21 miles. If I had been alone, like I was for the majority of the 18 miler, I would have stopped to walk several times. But having Jim by my side, he just kept me going and I know I did the same for him. I couldn't believe what I had accomplished. I thought to myself, there is a chance that I will be able to run 26.2 miles in a few weeks. It was such a high.

I hadn't made any plans for the remainder of the day because I knew i'd be tired and would need to rest. As the day went on, my knees began to throb and my hip was very tender. I couldn't walk without hobbling and forget going up and down stairs. Even as I tried to sleep, it hurt just lay and I would have to adjust my position which would hurt even more. I scheduled an appointment first thing to have a light massage on Sunday morning, hoping it would ease some pain. While it definately felt good, the pain didn't subside after my massage. In fact, I began to feel even tighter as the day has gone on. One thing that we did discover during the massage was how tight the right psoas muscle is ( a deep abdominal muscle which originates at my 12th vertebrae and inserts into my hip or vice versa). That could explain the hip pain - or it could be bursitis. It could be many things really and the only was to know is to get it checked out by an orthopedic surgeon. The only thing is, I don't want to go because I don't want to be told that I can't run in the marathon - not that I could run now if I tried.

I don't know what to think or do - just take it day by day I guess. But I went from the ultimate high yesterday to a new low this evening.

What's the point?

I completed the 18 miler my group ran, thanks to the help and encouragement of my coaches. It was pretty tiring, but oddly enough, not too painful. This weekend is the 21-22 miler i've been dreading. I can't imagine finishing it, but then again, I wasn't sure about the 18 either. I just have to remember what we, as runners, do - put one foot in front of the other to move forward. That's it.

As I was watching the frustrating and heartbreaking loss the Eagles had in the Saints game yesterday, I would periodically look at the clock and figure which mile i'd be on during the marathon. I have no idea how i'll do having never done 26.2 miles before - but based on my training, I don't think i'll finish any faster than at a 10 MM pace - which translates to 4 hours and 22 minutes - which is essentially running during an entire football game - and then some.

I have to confess, i'm starting to lose motivation. I haven't been getting in my weekly runs and couldn't peel myself out of bed this past Saturday at 5:30 am when it was a cold 35 degrees and pitch black outside. It's some kind of funk i'm in. Sure, I could go through my room, throw out everything old to make room and unpack my warmer clothes, but why? I should wake up early to do my speed work, but i'd rather sleep in a bit more. I could go to the gym between work and the show tomorrow night to lift some weights, but its too much of a hassle. I get the job done at work, but I could do more. Where is all this coming from? Why now?

Have I made the right choices? It's been over 3 months now and I haven't gotten one offer on my apartment in New York. Should I have stayed? I hate living out of bags, not having my own space, feeling like i'm living in limbo. Perhaps that's why i'm, for the most part, disinterested in most of the men out there i'm coming across (with the exception of one at the moment). Sometimes I feel like I should save myself the aggravation, the dissapointment, the feeling of being disrespected or disregarded. What kind of attitude is that? This isn't like me. Why am I in a funk? More importantly, how do I snap out of it?

Pouring..

...figuratively, that is. Ok, not really - but I notice in my dating life - it's just never simple. It's not meeting one person who's really cool and going at a comfortable pace until you end peacefully or remain committed. The opening scene in Grey's Anatomy last night was priceless - She's laying in bed, naked with a white sheet wrapped around her figure, with that "after-glow" (you know what i'm refering too!). She turns to one side to kiss one of her suitors, then to the other side for a kiss from another one. Talking about a fantasy! It never works that way for me.

It's either, ya hit it off with two people and feel it would be too complicated to carry on with both therefore, you choose one and let the other go. Inevitably, in my case, I end up choosing the wrong one. Glutton for punishment I am. Or, If I happen to be one of two in my suitor's life, i'm not the chosen one. I think maybe I should become a nun.

Fantasy

The ALDS game 2 with the Yankees vs. Tigers is currently in a rain delay. I just put in the 2nd load of my laundry and have eaten my dinner. As I await to see if they might get this game in, i'm rubbing the arches of my feet and calf muscles. My legs are more sore today after my 3.5 miles speed workout than the 10 miler I did over the weekend. It was 30 degrees warmer during this workout than my long run a few days ago, so that may be part of the reason. I can't believe how much earlier it's getting dark now. By the time I got home and got changed into my running gear, it was 6:45 pm. 15 minutes into my run, the sun had pretty much set. There are lights at the track I was doing my 1600 meter repeats but they didn't turn on. During my second repeat, I saw lightning in the distance. It was a pretty cool sight but for safety reasons, I decided to cut this workout short and head home.

I have a fantasy of coming home after a run and having my guy stretch me. Then, as I take a shower, he'll prepare my post-run meal with a 4 to 1, carb to protein ratio to help my glycogen stores for my next run. After we share this meal together, we kick back and he rubs my feet and legs to help flush the lactic acid from my sore muscles while watching whatever game is on. Yes, I know it sounds selfish, but if you know me, you know this is exactly what I would do for my man. I like to care for and nurture the person I care about. To be involved and help him with whatever makes him tick. I have yet to find that person who reciprocates this sentiment. Still, i'm going to dream - I won't give up hope and remain a hopeless romantic. Settle for no less than what i'm willing and wanting to offer.

Brrrrr....i'm flying!

I cried myself to sleep Friday night. It's so difficult to come to that realization that it does more harm than good to keep someone in your life. I had a stressful week. Lots of deadlines - heading into work early and leaving late. I still wasn't finished and had to head into the office after the run on Saturday to beat another deadline. I was tired, felt worn, emotionally and physically. I was really looking forward to my 10 mile run Saturday morning.

It was still dark and 45 degrees outside when I woke up. This time we were meeting at Forbidden Drive for our 10 miler. It was a cutback week for us - next week we'll be attacking an 18 miler and longer drills during the week. 45 degrees is cold enough for me to grab a long-sleeve running shirt. I grabbed a pair of running pants, but decided against it. Not ready to retire the running shorts for the season.

Forbidden drive has always been my nemesis. To the naked eye, there are only about 2, maybe 3 noticable hills. But to your legs and your lungs, it is apparent there are very little flat stretches in this trail. The first 5 miles out appears to be mostly downhill. The pack of us running was very small today. Probably no more than 25 people. Part of our group decided to stay at Valley Forge this week for their run.

So I started out in the front, just behind our head organizer and an assitant coach. It was a comfortable pace - just fast enough to get our heart pumping to warm up. I didn't really feel comfortable with the temperature until 2 miles in. 2.5 miles in is Valley Green Inn and for some reason, the two coaches ahead of me pulled to the side - perhaps to use the restroom or adjust something. So all of the sudden, I found myself in an unfamiliar position - the lead runner. There were a few people who I know run a faster pace than me, but I figured they were taking it easy in the cutback week.

So now, I was setting the pace with another female runner just to the right of me. Coming to some downhill slopes, we took advantage of them and started to pick up the pace. I didn't look behind me and was running with my ipod so I had no idea who was behind me or how far behind they were. At the turn around point, I was feeling good and was happy that I was running a faster pace, more like I was running during last winter/spring season. A handful of runners weren't that far behind the other woman and myself. As we turned around I said to her "Now it's uphill from here". She nodded in agreement and we were set to plow on through. About a half mile into our way back came the first steeper incline. 'Keep your feet under you, lean slightly forward, and just put one foot in front of the other' I kept thinking to myself. All of the sudden, I was at the top, and despite the fact that I was breathing more heavily, I felt ok. I felt like I could keep going and maintain my pace. The woman who was running next to me didn't fair so well. At the top of the hill she pulled behind me and to the side of the road. I was on my own now.

I felt like I was on autopilot - just flying - my legs kept going and going with a higher rate of turnover than i've had in a long run in months. The cool air felt good in my lungs and I could see my breath. 'Don't let up - keep going strong' I was telling myself in my mind. So what if it was a rough week - so what if I was tired and stressed and emotionally distraught. I was going to keep going. I wasn't going to quit. I was going to leave everything back on the trail. The last 3 miles, I did feel more tired, and my pace did suffer slightly. But mentally, I was winning.

I got to the end of the trail. I was the first one back. It was such an odd sensation. This isn't a race with my fellow runners. This was a competition within myself. And I had won today. It is the first time that I didn't stop once to take a walk break on this trail. Not only did I not walk, I had never run so fast on this trail before either. I needed this - I needed this badly to boost my confidence and to reign in the negative forces in my mind and body. I know the next few weeks of my training are going to be brutal. But I feel ready to tackle them. And you know what? The rest of my life I feel ready to tackle as well.

This week in running

It was dark, damp, a little cool but sticky when I walked to my car Saturday morning. During my half hour drive to Valley Forge Park, I encountered two passing rainstorms and arrived at my destination as the sky began to lighten to a cloudy gray. I arrived 15 minutes early to stretch, use the restroom, and fill up my bottles for my fuel belt. I was amazed at how empty the parking lot was. Our organizer had mentioned at one point during the season that our group was 150 strong. I had never seen that many people on a Saturday morning run with our group - I imagine in the four months that we've been meeting, some have dropped out and others decided to end the season with the Half-Marathon many of us ran last week.

It was dark as I was driving to pick up Jenna to go to the PDR (half-marathon) last week as well - just not as sticky. I thought I was going to hack up a lung in the car on the way with the virus I had and was on some serious medications for. I started to wonder if maybe running in this race today wasn't such a good idea for me. But, I was on my way, and I was just looking at it as a crucial training run, so there was no turning back now. It was a bright, clear morning with the sun blinding us as we turned onto Market street heading east on the first mile. Around mile marker 3, a welcoming familiar sight and sound greeted us - it was none other than the Eagles Pep Band singing and playing our anthem, which gave me a little surge in step as I began singing/screaming with them. "Fly, Eagles, Fly......," That didn't last long as the coughing fits resumed.

I was going at a steady, slow 10 minute/mile pace. In my last Half-Marathon in Queens last spring, I began running at this pace to ensure I had enough energy for a negative split (where i'd run the last half of the race faster than the first). My goal wasn't to get any faster this time around...it was simply to finish. By mile 5, I reached to the back of my fuel belt to grab my gel pack - I was in serious need of energy. But the mere thought of trying to wash down the frosting like substance at that moment made me want to vomit. My stomach wasn't happy with me. What to do? I need energy, but then again, vomiting on the side would make me lose even more energy. So, I pressed on knowing that for the next 8 miles, I'd just have to pray that my body would find energy stocked up elsewhere, because the gels just weren't going to go down.

About this time, a man with long gray hair in beat up sneakers, a very worn t- shirt, denim looking shorts carrying an American Flag over his head ran up next to me and announced "We're almost there". Silence. "I'm telling you, no one seems to believe me, but we're almost there". We all knew we weren't even halfway there as we began heading west on Martin Luther King Drive. So I responded "I want to believe you". "I want to believe me too, even though it's hard to right now," he replied.

I was coming up to mile 6 now and my stomach began to cramp. So, I pulled up on the sidewalk next to the river and slowed to a walk to catch my breath and work through my upset stomach. I was angry with myself - I should at least be running the entire 13 miles and not taking walk breaks. But I was hot, and tired, and feeling ill and I started to wonder, can I do this today? I believe that God listens and sends you answers because at that moment, a girl ran up next to me and started walking with me. We talked and walked for a minute or two. Her name was Danielle - originally from Lehigh Valley she now lives in DC. She suffers from asthma and was having a difficult time today. After our little chat I said, "ok, let's get going" and we were off, picking up a trot. "I'm going to run to that bridge up there" she said, and I followed. This is what I love about runners. Complete strangers, competing in an individual sport, yet the comraderie is arguably stronger than most team sports I know. You don't think twice about helping another runner who seems to be struggling. As we were running to the bridge, we past two women walking and heard one of them proclaim, "My goal is just to finish". Danielle responded "Me too". Wanting to affirm her proclamation, I turned around, looked at this woman in the eyes and said "You will." "Thank you" she said with a smile. We would all finish. We were all in this together.

The last half of the race I battled mental demons but got pulled out of my rut. Running by a steel drum band put a spring in my step as well as a group of high school cheerleaders with Mickey Mouse as their mascot who gave me a high five as I ran past. Once I saw that finish line I sprinted with all that I had left. It was a tough race for me - a slow race, but I finished, and that's all that mattered.

I read an article in Runner's World on the train ride home Tuesday about the spirituality of running. The author wrote how he focuses on breathing, hearing foot strikes on the ground, and takes in his surroundings to feel the energy of the universe propel him along the path. As I was running my intervals on a track near my house, I began thinking of what that article was all about. I noticed my focus was on the ground, just a few feet in front of me. It was a bit difficult to do because this focus has become habitual for me, but I forced myself to look up at my surroundings. I witnessed a beautiful orange with fluffy white clouds twilight sky. The cool night breeze was carrying the scent of fresh cut grass. The crickets were beginning their serenade. Despite the fact that I was on even more medication this day than I was just two days prior when running in the half-marathon, the mental demons were gone. I finally found that zone, that elusive runners zone where your mind transcends your physical being.

Back in the parking lot, I began filling my bottles with water when I realized I didn't have any gatorade. It's not ideal, but i'll survive I tell myself. I'm trying to ignore the thoughts at the forefront of my mind which is reminding me that this will be the longest distance I have ever run to date. '15 miles - no biggie - just two short miles longer than the half-marathon distance i've run a bunch of times' I would think to myself. 'Pay no attention to the 90% humidity factor'.

There was no longer 4 color groups - only 1 group of runners now who would meet at the same time and complete one of two distances at the pace most comfortable to them. One group would be running in the half-marathon portion of the Philadelphia marathon and the others are aiming to run the full marathon. Some are running in the Marine Corps marathon a few weeks earlier than the rest of us, so they add on or take away mileage as needed based on the calendar. So 7:15 comes and we all head out towards the trail. We are heading out to the 26 mile marker from 29.5 and back - then going through a parking lot to the river trail which is another 3 miles out and back that leads us to the last stretch on the way back to our meeting area. Sound confusing? It was too me. I wasn't really sure where to pick up this River trail.

Normally, i'd be ok because there would be a large group of runners on the course and I'd be running in the general vicinity of some of them. But looking at this group, there was a handful of green(the fastest) and yellow (the group that i'm in) runners, and I knew the yellow runners that were present were closer to the green pace than I was. In a long distance like this, I would fall behind this pack. Yet, i'd be ahead of the red group runners most likely by quite a bit of distance.

The initial part of this trail is straight, so I could see the pack in front of me despite the growing distance between us. With the first turn around about 4 to 4.5 miles into the run, the lead pack was a few hundred meters in front of me at this point. So each of them gave me a thumbs up or a wave as they passed, saying the turn around was just ahead. After I reached the first turn-around, the distance began to grow even more between the lead pack and myself. I'd look over my shoulder every now and then to see if perhaps another runner was catching up to me but no such luck.

Six miles of this training run was on a small river trail three miles out and back. I had never been on this trail and the entrance to it was not easy to find, but fortunately a coach was waiting in the second parking lot to point me in the right direction. I had been running for close to an hour and a half at this point and the trail was desolate. No other humans in sight - just trees, the rocks on the trail, and the mirky river water flowing next to me. It had been overcast this whole time but not a single drop of rain during my run - till all of the sudden, the skies opened up and began pouring. The trees shielded me from being completely soaked. But the rain was strong enough to run into my eyes and cloud my vision. The raindrops were cold and it felt wonderful and rejuvenating. I felt like a little kid, running and playing in the rain. I found myself wanting splash around in puddles, but there were none to be found on this trail. Just wet and sometimes muddy earth.

About 20 minutes or so into this trail, the lead pack passed me on their way back. They had begun to spread out at this point. So much so that when I got to this second turn-around, a girl that had been in the lead pack was no more than 250 meters ahead of me. In the last mile, I caught up with her. She looked at me with surprise. "You really caught up," she said. "I always try to pick it up in the end," I responded. And it's true - i'm always aiming for a negative split. The longer these runs get, the more difficult it is to pick it up in the end. Physically, I felt like crawling to the end - mentally is where I need to find that break through, and it is very difficult to come by. I have to find inspiration from somewhere - being alone for 2 and a half hours on a 15 mile run is not an easy feat. But seeing that I had caught up to someone in the lead pack in the last 5k gave me hope - gave me that extra umph I needed to finish strong and leave everything I had out there on that trail.

As soon as I stopped running and began walking back to the picnic table to refuel on gatorade and bananas, the pain set in. I was stiff and the pain in my lower back and hip made me hobble. I was tired, very tired, but elated. Most people in the lead pack had run in marathons before but they knew this would be my first. And they knew this had been my longest run to date. They offered words of encouragement and congratulated me on not only finishing, but finishing strong - not too far behind them.

The demons began creeping into my head again - 'If you're this tired after 15 miles, how are you going to add on another 11??'. But I squelched those thoughts - I had finished the 15 miles in the same time I had finished the 13 miles the weekend before - and I was still under the weather. So i'm only going to be getting better from here on out. I don't know how i'm going to finish 26.2 miles on November 19th - but somehow, I will. I'm so excited about that.

On a side note, i'm not sure anyone but Jenna is reading this (you rock girl!!). If you are reading this, give me a shout out and let me know what you think.

I want my....

...W B. Not the network (at least not since the demise of Felicity and Dawson's Creek), but the office supplies catalog warehouse. Have you seen this commercial? I have, about a hundred million times. I can't get the jingle out of my head. I'm thinking, why is this commercial getting so much more airtime than any other? How much money does WB Mason have in its advertising budget anyway??? It's only office supplies! Then I realize, I really only watch a few TV stations and they are normally sports stations like CSN, ESPN, etc. Then I start to think, what demographic are they trying to reach? Clearly they want to catch the eye of office managers....does this mean that some market research shows that the majority of sports fans out there are office managers? And come to think of it, I have seen huge WB Mason signs hanging up in major league ballparks - I want to say they're represented in both Yankee Stadium and Fenway. That's some major bucks right there...perhaps we should invest in their stock!

I want to write about my half-marathon and Eagles home opener experience..but i'm not in a very positive frame of mind right now and don't want to come across so cranky. I will post an update within the next few days.

Lost Digit

It hasn't been the best week for me. I started feeling under the weather - sore throat, cough, clogged ear, etc. By the end of the week I ended up at my doctors and came out with a handful of prescriptions in my hand. I never had any doubt that i'd run in the Half-Marathon this Sunday - no way was I going to miss this one - but I was concerned it was going to be more difficult feeling this crappy. 12 hours from now i'll be on the course, so we'll see how it goes.

Emotionally, its been a bit of a roller-coaster for me. While not feeling well, work became a little stressful. There's just a bit more to do than I can handle in the alotted time (i'm very particular about making sure I don't become a workaholic again - I need my personal time). On top of this, I was getting mixed signals from a special person in my life - a good friend, who may becoming more, who just wasn't there for me.

It all came to a head today when plans that I had with this person fell through - this weekend was suppossed to be wonderful - a great day with him today followed by running my half-marathon in the morning and going to the Eagles home opener in the afternoon. Three things that I love! After what happened today, i'm having a hard time looking forward to tomorrow. But, I have a feeling i'll find some inner peace during the race tomorrow. And to pamper myself a bit, I decided to go get a manicure & pedicure today - before my feet get all blistered again.

So it starts with the pedicure - the woman did everything with latex gloves on - with the exception of actually polishing my nails. Then onto the manicure. We went through cutting the cuticles and filing the nails - then came the hand massage. I look at my hand as she's rubbing it and I hope she didn't see the look at my face when I did. She was missing the last digit on her right thumb. It was a nub. She was massaging me with her nub. I don't know why it made me react the way that I did, but I was kind of weirded out by it. So I looked at the TV soaps - not that I watch soaps, but I was trying to take my mind off it. I just couldn't - the massage seemed to last forever - then she moved to the other hand. And I just couldn't enjoy it. I felt awful for being kind of disgusted by it and felt even worse that this experience was suppossed to serve as something that would brighten my day.

I just have to put this day and this week behind me. Time to do some carbo-loading with a pasta dinner, pack everything for tomorrow and get a good night's rest. I'm sure i'll be in better spirits tomorrow - how could I not? It'll be an amazing day.

The Loner

People would generally say that i'm outgoing, extroverted, a people person. Yet, for some reason, actually, a myriad of reasons that I could hypothesize, I have become a bit of a loner. Yes, i've hit some rough patches in life, as many people have, and i've survived. Most people I know categorize me as a strong, independent woman for that reason. Maybe I am. But, I will tell you, the loner doesn't much enjoy being alone.

I'm Back!!!

It was only a 30 minute, 3 mile run - but I did it! It felt great!!! No problems with my foot! I ran with my Adidas sneakers, which I haven't run in in months - maybe that's the trick. I had switched to a Mizuno stability shoe because I have a tendency to overpronate (and my adidas are just a neutral shoe). I'm going to flush the lactic acid in my legs out tomorrow with a swim and then head out for a 6 miler on Sunday....gotta start building up those miles. I'm not totally in the clear - doubling the mileage could start to rub my skin more, but i'm confident!

On another note - this is the beginning of the time of year when I start to feel overwhelmed. No matter what company i'm working for, September seems to be a busy month for deadlines and workload - i'm also taking a class at Temple starting tomorrow and I really have to focus not only on my training runs, but my strength training and cross training as well (which all requires adequate rest and time). But what really gets me this time of year is the collision of football and baseball - case in point, I have the Eagles preseason game and phillies game on right now - figuring i'd switch to the game on the big screen when either teams offense is up - of course, they're both on at the same time. Drives me nuts!!!

NonRunning Days

The uncertainty and leisure of my summer is abruptly coming to a halt. I'm in my 4th week of the new job and am already shoulder deep in work. I had my last session with my trainer in NY - very sad, although I know we're keeping in touch and will probably run in a race together sometime soon. Running - that's been tough. It's been 14 days since that horrible, bloody speedworkout I did, 17 days since i've done a substantial distance run.

I've been making progress - the wound has scabbed at this point and i'm able to wear sneakers again. But, with losing so much crucial training time, the NYC Half Marathon is not going to be a reality for me. That makes me sad. The other day as I was driving home from the train station, I passed a runner - I was so jealous. It's frustrating because besides the tender skin on my foot, I feel great. No other aches or pains - i'm itching to run.

I think i'm at the point where I might be able to test my foot out - and I plan on doing so this Thursday after work with a nice and easy 3-4 mile run. If all goes well, i'll start running on a schedule my coach gave me to ease back into running with the group, and most importantly, prepare me for the Philadelphia Distance Run (a half-marathon) i'm running with the group mid-September. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

A few other thoughts.....the Boston Massacre of 2006 is just pure bliss in my world! The yanks sweep the red sox in 5 games at Fenway - there is a God!

I was at the Phillies game on Sunday, sitting in the 3rd row behind the Phillies dugout. My friends and I got numerous calls from peeps watching us on TV every time a lefthander was at bat. We were soooo close to the players and the field- God, I love baseball! Especially since the phils finally reached .500 again and still have a fighting chance of getting this wild card!!!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR FOOTBALL SEASON - despite the lack of "big names" with our WR and not having changed our RB situation (yet), the D is looking awesome and i've been really happy with the first offensive drives of the preseason games so far.

Another setback

So the skin that was rubbed raw during my long run last Saturday has become a bit of a problem. Wearing any shoes, especially sneakers because they fit like a glove on my feet, is painful because it rubs the raw skin. And I stupidly thought that I'd be able to do my speed work Tuesday on the track if I really bandaged it tightly. Oy - the workout only lasted 30 minutes but felt like forever and a day with the shooting pain in my foot - I was running with a limp by the end. I got home, took off my shoe to find a bloody sock - bad news.

The wound got worse the past two days - it hurts to walk or stand - even just sitting it throbs. I was scared it was getting infected. Since i'm a new patient at my doctor's office, they won't take me for a sick visit until I have a physical - which I have scheduled two weeks from now. So, back to the ER I went - I didn't want to risk it getting any worse - especially with the NYC Half-Marathon in just over two weeks. I've been looking forward to running that race all summer.

I've only been to the ER once in my life before my 30th birthday. Now, in the month since my 30th birthday, i've been twice. How did I suddenly become old?? Last time it was a 5 hour ordeal - with a ct scan, IV and the whole bit. This time, I got there and they saw me right away. When they took my blood pressure, I lost feeling in my forearm and fingers it was so tight. THe Nurse had a problem getting my blood pressure so she squeezed the hell out of my other arm to get it. Of course it was a little high - I was stressed because I lost feeling in my arms!!!

Then, they took me to a cot that wasn't in a private room like before. I guess they weren't busy because as I was getting registered by one nurse, the physician's assistant came but had to wait for me to be done getting registered. He was a cutey so it was a little distracting. Fortunately I didn't have an infection and the biggest thing I was discussing with him was when I could get back to training and could I run the half. I'd be so disappointed if I couldn't run the half - and i'd be losing precious training weeks these next few weeks. As he was looking at it, the doctor came over, as well as another male nurse.

They're all looking at my foot, the doctor and the PA trying to decide what to cleanse the wound with. Talking about when I could start running again. Last time, I was about to pass out with my headache and high blood pressure and they'd leave me alone for hours - this time, they're all on top of me. Go figure.

So it came time to discharge me and the male nurse that was there before came back to do so. The physician's assistant was cute, but this nurse, Robert, was even cuter. I'm sure he's probably married or gay just because they always are. But I didn't see a wedding band nor were there any obvious signs that he liked other boys.

"You know that you're going to sweat that off in no time" he said refering to the clear shield they put on my foot. "And you're not going to be able to run in that marathon". He meant the half in NY and all I could say when I looked into his pretty blue eyes was "really? why not?". He said there's a difference between being able to tolerate the pain running again and being smart about when to run again. I do see his point. The marathon in November is the goal and I do have the PDR in September. But this Half in NY is the first one of its kind - a very exciting event. "You're a big girl - you'll figure it out" he said.

So I signed my paperwork and he showed me the exit - he must be at least 6'3" because even with my heels on he was tall. So i'm at the checkout, taking care of my copay when Robert (my nurse) comes running out and taps me on the shoulder. "They want you to take a tetnas shot - wait here, i'll bring it out". So he took me back to a little station behind the door and told me to relax. I can take needles but i'm not a fan of them. When it was over he said "there's the door, don't let it hit you on the ass on the way out" and laughed. "It's just an expression" he said smiling. We had a bit more interaction than that, which i'm not going to be able to share verbatim. I'm having a hard time expressing it in my writing, but to me our conversation appeared to be both sarcastic but flirtatious. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part because I found him so darn cute.

(Sigh) there wasn't really an opportunity to ask for his number - nor do I want to be that forward. Even though i'm not much of a shy girl, I do enjoy being the "girl" in these sorts of situations. So i'm a bit upset that I can't run right now - but I was treated by a cutie - so that was fun. I suppose if he really wanted to and had enough balls, he could get my contact information out of the computer system - but again, wishful thinking.

On a side note - as I was hobbling to the train at suburban station after work today, there was a man wearing an Eagles T.O. jersey. Two cops were there cuffing him......I love the irony in that.

Uneventful

That was my run today - pretty uneventful - which is a good thing. My headache is gone, I got in at least two of my runs this week, and I took a yoga class for the first time in a long time yesterday which helped me work out the kink in my right hip. It was 70 degrees when we started the run which felt like heaven on the shaded trail on Wissahickon's forbidden drive. The schedule called for a 12 mile run - the overachiever's in my group decided they wanted to do the Green group's 14 miler. Since I had only gotten 9 in last week, a jump to 14 would most likely cause on injury - just too much too soon. So I did about 11 - slowly, but steady, and without any major kinks (with the exception of the skin being rubbed raw on the instep of both my feet).

Forbidden drive has more hills than the regular trail we run in Valley Forge - and that got to me. It made me realize how far behind I am with my conditioning - part of that has to do with my diet and lack of strength training. The problem is when I reach for my chips and chocolate or decide to sleep in instead of head to the gym, i'm not remebering how awful it feels knowing I have 5 or more miles to go and my body is starting to get tired and sluggish. The past week was better than the prior one and i'm looking to build on that this week.

Howabout them Phils???

Cheerio Mates!

Psuedo Celebrity Run-In

Monday night, my mother and I went to our "Pre-Night Out Block Party" at the parking lot down the street from us. Apparently, Tuesday was National Night Out, or something to that nature. If you know what that is, can you share it with me?

So the DJ was blaring music and it's about a hundred million degrees outside. I'm having fun grabbing pamphlets from the tables of the police and fire department (they were just too cute!) and made it over to a few politicians tables as well. Then at one point, someone running for the U.S. congress on a REPUBLICAN ticket came up to shake my hand. He looked awfully familiar. So I asked him "Did you go to NYU?". He said "No, you recognize me from The Apprentice". I only caught a few episodes here and there, but it was Raj - the guy who always wore a bow tie. Turns out he's from Montgomery County (who knew?). I chatted with some of the girls that were with him.

One of the girls went to Nazareth Academy (a rival of my catholic schools) and the other girl went to Fordham - the Lincoln Center campus - just a few blocks from my Upper West Side apartment. None of this is relevant really accept, maybe i'm trying to intimate its somewhat of a small world.

Raj asked what I studied at NYU and when I told him Performing Arts Administration, he looked puzzled. Then, as if it registered in his brain (ah - the arts - she's not going to vote for a republican), he was on his way. He had hired a camera woman who was filming him shaking hands and recording these interactions. I was very close to mentioning that one of the things I learned in my line of work is, of course, signing waivers to allow you to use my image.....I mean come on, he was on The Apprentice for god's sake! He should know these things! What if I happened to be a union actress??

I don't want to totally knock the guy. Maybe he could legitimately run for congress and make a difference. But i'm more inclined to believe that the horrible invention called reality t.v. is not only dumbing American audiences (and i'll be the first to admit that I get sucked in to some series as well), but also falsely empowering these reality celebrities into thinking they can do whatever they wish and rule the world. I suppose it doesn't only have to be a reality celebrity - look at the Governator and even Ben Affleck thinking that he was actually someone important and smart enough to positively persuade the voters to vote for on the Democratic ticket.

That's what bothers me about society - An EMT - a person who SAVES LIVES makes $9 an hour - this is before taxes - $18,720 per year for a standard 40 hour workweek. Yet A-ROD gets paid $25 million to take a wooden bat and make connection with a 95 mph fastball - and when he doesn't do it the team starts to complain that the fans should give him a break??? As a culture, Americans place more value on the few very attractive individuals who read lines off of a page pretending to be someone else than those who foster creativity and genius in our children's minds.

I know that i'm to blame for this as well - I love sports and i'll continue to pay my $52 per seat for my yanks season tix like everyone else that keeps this sport and these salaries going. I do this despite the fact that it tears me apart to walk by the homeless man that was laying on the side of 15th Street in the sweltering 100 degree heat this afternoon as I was walking with my leather kenneth cole briefcase, about to take the train to my $25k car and my air conditioned home. I give what I can to charity - ok, that's probably not entirely true - I could make more sacrifices in my own life (like my season tickets) to give more to others. But even then, I don't know how much I can help change the way our society operates.

I hate it that one person gets paid millions of dollars a year to catch a ball while that poor old man can't even get a warm (or cold) square meal 3 times a day, a shower, and a roof over his head. People walk by him not even acknowledging his existence - nobody is going to call him to wish him a happy birthday - no one is out there worried about him since he has failed to return home. On occasion i'll stop and talk with someone or i'll take them to the store to get some food or even give them some change (although I do fear they will just drink it). I hate that I feel helpless in trying to help them and I hate that i'm also a hypocrit.

These are the thoughts that run through my mind...and this is why I run. I always try to put a positive spin on my thoughts - be more of an optimist. It doesn't always work.

Never leave your partner

Army rangers are trained to never leave their partners side. I was reading about that in a book I bought this week, "Ultramarathon Man" by Dean Karnazes. The author participated in the Western States Endurance Run, a grueling 100 mile footrace in which he would climb a total of 36,000 feet. 75 miles into the race, he caught up with two runners, both military men, one of whom looked as fresh as could be, the other couldn't hold his head up and could barely lift his feet. Together, they wouldn't be finishing this race, but seperately, one could have. Yet, they were trained to never leave each other's side - therefore, together they perished.

I pulled into the parking lot at 7:22 am - a bit later than I wanted to. I had just enough time to fill up my fuel belt with gatorade and water and run to the bathroom. Our head coach wasn't at last week's run (nor was I) but he had heard that the yellow group was spread out and most were running without partners. So he encouraged us to branch out and meet new people in the group and try to find someone who runs the same pace.

30 of us started in a nice pack together. Once over the bridge and onto the trail, the pack generally starts to spread out a bit after the first mile or so into the trail. We seemed to be going at a comfortable pace - I was mid-pack - and was running the same pace as another woman, Sam. She is a first time marathoner like myself so we shared our concerns with each other about completing the full 26.2 miles this fall.

About 2 miles into the trail, we lose the shade and come out to what another runner has phrased the "death valley" portion of the trail. It was just before 8 am, the temperature about 80 degrees, with about 90% humidity which made it feel like it was close to 100 degrees running on the asphalt with the glaring sun beating down on us.

The reason I had missed the prior week's 9 miler at Wissahickon was because I had taken a little trip to the ER the day before. I had a headache for 4 days, with other accompanying ailments, and my doctor suspected Meningitis. So to the ER I went. Fortunately, it wasn't meningitis and they gave me a shot of some wonder drug that made my headache go away. I normally wouldn't have been so concerned about it - its just that i'm a fairly healthy person and never get headaches. They believed it was heat related.

2 weeks ago we had run 7 miles on our Saturday long run. It was muggy that day but overcast - I paced myself nicely and recorded a negative split (ran faster the second half of the run), sprinting to the end. I felt pretty good. Since that run, the headaches began and temperatures skyrocketed. Every time i'd try to run, my head felt like it was going to explode. So in the past two weeks, i've only run once - and it was 45 minute easy run on a treadmill. Not only have I not run, i've only gone strength training once, no cross training, no yoga, and my diet has consisted of too much junk food and not enough fruits and veggies.

So we hit the sun, and my head starts throbbing a bit. Then i'm finding it harder to breath and the people in the back of the pack began to pass me. When the pack started pulling away I told my partner to keep going, I was going to have to stop and walk it off a bit to catch my breath. She said she'd stay back with me but I insisted. It was going to be a long 10 miles for me.

I started a walk/run pattern and once I came to the bridge at the 3 mile mark, I could see the group in the distance but knew I was going to lose sight of them shortly. I felt so defeated, but I knew I had to keep going. I'm 4 weeks away from participating in the Inaugural NYC half-marathon and next week's 12 miler is a crucial training run for that. If I don't get in this 10 miles today, the 12 miles next week is going to be even worse. If only I could turn down the sun.

I came around the bend to see another runner from the yellow group walking back towards me. I asked him how he was doing and he said he had a cramp and was heading back. I asked him if he wanted to stretch it out and he said it was a stomach cramp - he was getting over the flu. I told him to join me in my walk/run adventure and he agreed. We were both hurting but we were going to get through this together.

We made it to the Oaks trail which was about 4.5 miles from our start. So we decided for the sake of time with not running the entire way, we'd head back and be happy with getting 9 miles in. I'm not sure I could have done it without him. We shared our running stories, work stories, personal stories. You start to forget about your pain and we'd take turns motivating each other to run another half mile before we'd give ourselves a walking break.

Once we were back in the shade, the woman that I was initially running with caught up with us. Turns out after I pulled out of the pack, she was running with this guy who also had to pull out. She was beginning to think she was somehow a jinx for everyone. Sam confessed at one point she also had to walk a bit to catch her breath. That humidity was just a killer out there.

So now, the three of us were on the homestretch - talking to each other, motivating each other, pushing each other to a sprint at the end. I'm not sure what I would have done if it wasn't for my partners today...I might still be out on the trail. It made me realize why I do this - sacrifice my Friday night out with friends to try to get enough sleep so that I can wake up at 5:30 in the morning to hydrate, eat, and get out there to run in the blazing sun in pain. It's the connection you make with others who will stick by you and struggle with you and help you accomplish something that inevitably will give you more confidence to face other struggles in your life.

The dog days of August are now upon us - the miles are critical for my summer/fall half-marathons and the Philadelphia Marathon on November 19th. The success I will have then relies on the success I must have now....so come hell or high water (or heat and humidity), I have to keep going - with everything now - with the strength training and nutrition and cross training and meditation. Easier said than done...so feel free to check in on me to see if i'm getting it all done. I could always use a little nudge here and there.

Cheerio mates!