A few clicks away...

I had some down time this evening and was checking in on my friends on myspace. So you click on a friend, then click on one of their other friends whom you don't know because that person looks interesting, then you click on that person's friend, etc. etc. I somehow found myself on the page of a woman from the Philadelphia area my age. She had a few spam posts in her comments section in recent days then, some puzzling messages from friends left about two weeks ago. They wrote poems saying how they loved her and missed her and remembered those favorite times they had together. As I read on one post confirmed my suspicion when a friend said that she left the earth too soon and heaven was a better place. She has last logged on April 24th and these messages were left April 27th.

I was taken aback by this and curiosity had gotten the best out of me, so I began clicking on these commentors profiles to see what she might had written to them her last days. Nothing out of the ordinary - talking about getting together with people and a few jokes. Nothing in hers or her friends profiles indicate that she was sick. I can only guess this beautiful 31 year old woman died suddenly and tragically. It left me with an uneasy feeling.

I'm going to be 31 in 2 months - that could be me or anyone I know. What are the odds? No one knows. And I know there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to enjoy life while you can. I learned this when my father passed away suddenly after I graduated from high school. But I suppose I need to be reminded of it from time to time. I've been down for months now - maybe even years with a few spikes of happiness. And really, why? I can give you a million reasons - with my injury, with my living situation, with my work, etc. But does it really matter? Shouldn't I just find the positive side in these situations and take it all in stride?

I'd be lying if I said I wake up everyday saying to myself, this will be a good day. I'm going to make a concerted effort to do this now - so I should get to bed so I can wake up tomorrow and tell myself that it will be a good day.