Life isn't easy - but let's face it, I created my life. And i'm pretty happy with the life I created. Sure, there are things i'd like to change, and i'm working on changing. Changing my eating habits to be healthy and lose weight has proven to be extremely challenging for me. It's a battle that some days, most days it seems, i'm not winning. But i'm not out - just because I have a bad day with it doesn't mean tomorrow won't be a better day.
I started my new job yesterday - I was a bit nervous - my job entails responsibilities that i've never had before, and others that it's been years since i've done. But, i've been in this position before, where I had to learn and grow, and I was up for the challenge. I also have to realize (or rather I have realized) I know more than I think. I am prepared for this job. And most importantly, I have passion for this work.
I got to meet the dancers at a rehearsal and saw a run-through of one of the pieces in our upcoming season. They are all so beautiful - nothing moves me like contemporary dance. My Artistic Director called them my "babies". They are my babies in a way - it's my job to nurture them so they can continue to do what they do. It's my new family. I really felt like I finally came home.
I'm in a good place with my training right now. It's not too hard, but just challenging enough. I'm finally getting a more efficient swim stroke down - and my coach, who was an olympic trials swimmer, took notice of it. I had a good cycling class this morning - I was able to stick all the intervals in the appropriate zones and am starting to achieve a more efficient pedal stroke, engaging my hamstrings in addition to my quads.
I'm tired right - very tired. Training takes up about 12 hours a week - i'm splitting my time between the old and new job right now while in transition - i'm an active volunteer with my triathlon team. But i'm happy - i'm very happy with the life i've created and looking forward to making more progress with it all. What makes me happy is recognizing these daily victories - every day, there has to be something to feel good about. Today was my cycling class and upper body workout at my gym. What was your daily victory?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
The Beginning of the Rest of my Life
I'm a little delayed in posting this, so some of you already know. I've landed my dream job! I will be the Managing Director of a Modern Dance Company in downtown Philadelphia! It's perfect! The company is in it's 8th season right now and poised to grow and I feel i'm in the right stage of my career to grow into a seasoned cultural leader as this company realizes it's potential.
I'm realistic - I know some days will be tough. But i'm ready for this responsibility. I'm coming up on 2 years the end of this spring of having moved back to Philly. It's been a chaotic 2 years. Changing jobs several times, tackling first marathons and triathlons and dealing with injuries, dealing with a difficult real estate market, dealing with psychotic men in relationships.
Now, I finally feel like everything is falling into place. I've sold my place, for a profit. I'm very happily single, which makes me feel i'll be more successful in a relationship if I happen to meet someone and if I don't, it doesn't matter, because i'm feeling quite fulfilled in my life at the moment! I'm no longer injured and am steadily progressing in my training, thanks to my coach and teammates. Now, I finally have a career that excites me. I'm anxious to wake up in the morning and make things happen!
In a few months, i'm planning on moving into the city, within walking distance of my work. I'm in no rush. I want to get acclimated working in this new neighborhood and i'd like to enjoy the pool at my mother's house this summer. But I feel like this year represents the Beginning of the Rest of my Life.
I was trying to remember when things began to change for me - when I started feeling unhappy. I had an amazing childhood. College was a blast as well as the first several years out of college. Even when I began my full-time arts administration career, I was still having a ball. So when was it?
Then I remembered how awful I felt when I learned I had cancer in October of 2004. That was the turning point. That's when I felt unhappy in my career, in my love-life, in living in New York. I was done - I was over it all.
So, this transition has lasted for close to 3 and a half years. I don't know if i'm totally in the clear. But the future is looking much brighter for me. I feel much happier - so that says something. Now, if only we can get the Republicans out of office, 2008 will be a great year!!
I'm realistic - I know some days will be tough. But i'm ready for this responsibility. I'm coming up on 2 years the end of this spring of having moved back to Philly. It's been a chaotic 2 years. Changing jobs several times, tackling first marathons and triathlons and dealing with injuries, dealing with a difficult real estate market, dealing with psychotic men in relationships.
Now, I finally feel like everything is falling into place. I've sold my place, for a profit. I'm very happily single, which makes me feel i'll be more successful in a relationship if I happen to meet someone and if I don't, it doesn't matter, because i'm feeling quite fulfilled in my life at the moment! I'm no longer injured and am steadily progressing in my training, thanks to my coach and teammates. Now, I finally have a career that excites me. I'm anxious to wake up in the morning and make things happen!
In a few months, i'm planning on moving into the city, within walking distance of my work. I'm in no rush. I want to get acclimated working in this new neighborhood and i'd like to enjoy the pool at my mother's house this summer. But I feel like this year represents the Beginning of the Rest of my Life.
I was trying to remember when things began to change for me - when I started feeling unhappy. I had an amazing childhood. College was a blast as well as the first several years out of college. Even when I began my full-time arts administration career, I was still having a ball. So when was it?
Then I remembered how awful I felt when I learned I had cancer in October of 2004. That was the turning point. That's when I felt unhappy in my career, in my love-life, in living in New York. I was done - I was over it all.
So, this transition has lasted for close to 3 and a half years. I don't know if i'm totally in the clear. But the future is looking much brighter for me. I feel much happier - so that says something. Now, if only we can get the Republicans out of office, 2008 will be a great year!!
Friday, February 01, 2008
In the Moment
It's become more apparent to me recently how difficult it is to remain present in the moment. To not worry or daydream about the future or reminisce about the past. It's almost impossible for me to do.
If I can stay true to where I am at that particular moment, I think i'll make the most progress, specifically in regards to my training.
For instance, yesterday morning I was at my cycling center working on a sub-LT interval. 3 minutes in zone 3 with a cadence of 60-70 rpm followed by a 2 minute interval in zone 3 with a cadence of 90-100, then a 1 minute recovery in zone 1 at 90-100 rpms, so on and so forth. The total interval lasted about 45 minutes. Keeping my watts at about 170 for 45 minutes isn't impossible, but still a bit challenging. I had to keep reminding myself I needed to focus on that 3 minute block, of keeping my watts and rpms in range, and making the most efficient pedal stroke possible - it doesn't matter what happened in the previous block and only a slight thought of what gear i'll shift into and movement i'll make to get into the next block. But in that moment, I have to achieve what the goal is for that block.
Could you imagine how different life would be if we all could live like that - do or be the best you can do or be at that one particular moment? It's one of my aspirations this year.
I know i've been absent from posting for a bit. I started writing some blog entries and have saved drafts but haven't finished. They were about reflecting on what happened and what I learned in 2007 and how i'm going to apply those lessons to 2008. I will eventually finish that post and will update you to what's happening in my life.
If I can stay true to where I am at that particular moment, I think i'll make the most progress, specifically in regards to my training.
For instance, yesterday morning I was at my cycling center working on a sub-LT interval. 3 minutes in zone 3 with a cadence of 60-70 rpm followed by a 2 minute interval in zone 3 with a cadence of 90-100, then a 1 minute recovery in zone 1 at 90-100 rpms, so on and so forth. The total interval lasted about 45 minutes. Keeping my watts at about 170 for 45 minutes isn't impossible, but still a bit challenging. I had to keep reminding myself I needed to focus on that 3 minute block, of keeping my watts and rpms in range, and making the most efficient pedal stroke possible - it doesn't matter what happened in the previous block and only a slight thought of what gear i'll shift into and movement i'll make to get into the next block. But in that moment, I have to achieve what the goal is for that block.
Could you imagine how different life would be if we all could live like that - do or be the best you can do or be at that one particular moment? It's one of my aspirations this year.
I know i've been absent from posting for a bit. I started writing some blog entries and have saved drafts but haven't finished. They were about reflecting on what happened and what I learned in 2007 and how i'm going to apply those lessons to 2008. I will eventually finish that post and will update you to what's happening in my life.
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