I have closed the final door on my life in New York. Just after 1 pm today, when I received a check for six figures with my name on it (it was awesome but frightening at the same time), I shook a few hands and walked out the door, into the streets of New York. This was the first time I was wandering the streets of Manhattan as an official visitor, no longer as a resident. Since August of 1994, i've always had a place to call home in the Big Apple - until today.
As I was taking a leisurely stroll to my closing appointment at 42nd Street and 3rd Avenue from Penn Station, I couldn't help but to reminisce. Coming out onto 7th Ave from Penn Station and looking at the Pennsylvania Hotel, I remember the night my father and I stayed there in early 1994 for my audition for the dance program at NYU - that was the beginnning of it all. As I walked north on 7th ave towards 34th Street I remember walking this same route from my apartment in Chelsea to my acting class at Bill Esper studios in 1999-2000 on 35th and 8th ave. In particular, I remember a conversation I had with one of my acting partners in that class who was 40 years my senior and telling me of some sex toys he and his first wife had experimented with (gotta love crazy artists).
I walked by Bryant Park and remembered having lunch with my friend Leon one spring day in 2004 and just a bit further, on 5th Ave in front of the NY Public Library, I remember walking with my trainer Lee from a pilates studio on Madison Ave to our gym on the westside. I reached my destination fairly early and it was a nice morning, so I decided to walk a little bit further, past sparks steakhouse where I recalled having dinner in 1999 with my roommate Yuki, her mother, sister, and cousin for her sister's graduation. It was amusing, 4 Asian women and myself - when we ordered the wine the waitor didn't know who to bring the wine to for tasting, so me being the oddball out and the only native English speaker, I had the privelege of making that decision. I got drunk with my roommate's mother from Japan that night - it was great! Just next door was corporate housing that a guy named Matt I dated in 2003 had lived in. Poor guy - we started dating in October which is the worst time to date me unless you're an avid sports fan like myself - with the Yankees in the postseason and Eagles Football season in full swing (and if there happens to be a free night, there's always Flyers hockey), every date we went on centered around being near a TV so I could catch a game. We never had a chance.
I met the couple buying my apartment - they were newlyweds, both working in the theatre like myself. Very nice people. It was a close call - we went through all the paperwork and when it came time to the last step, the money, my buyer's bank attorney hadn't shown up. We waited and waited, kept calling, couldn't get a hold of anyone. Both my attorney and the buyer's attorney had other appointments scheduled and we were in danger of not being able to go to finish closing and having to reschedule another day. At the last minute, the representative came in with the checks and saved the day.
So as I was walking back to Penn Station, I couldn't wipe a silly grin from my face. I wasn't sad at all - looking back over the dozen years I lived in NY, I had some wonderful memories - but it was the people that made it so memorable - not necessarily the place. I'm making more memories everyday being back in Philly - like getting to have lunch with my girl Beth every week since we work right around the corner from each other.
I had a great run in NY - but my time is up and I finally feel like I have closure. This was a positive move in my life. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders - I feel free!! And isn't it ironic that I have to be back in NY this weekend for the marathon....can't wait for that trip either!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
BIG week ahead
I'm constantly harping on my friend PJ for being a bad blogger and now i'm the one who hasn't been updating regularly. There is so much to blog about, but only a few things will make it to this post.
October 29, 2007
I have a biology exam on unit II - mostly cell biology, cell division and the like. I've been a bad student this semester - i've hardly gotten any work done. I will take responsbility for this....my life is incredibly hectic and it is difficult to do all my homework and studying, but it's not impossible. And here I am, blogging away instead of studying for this exam....So it's my fault and I have to accept how I do based on the amount of effort I put into it. Instead of stressing myself out about how much has to get done, i've adopted an outlook of every section or chapter I master is more points for me than before I had studied. Being stressed isn't going to make it any easier, so why not try to alleviate that stress...
AND GET ON TOP OF MY STUDYING!!!
October 30, 2007
As long as everything goes according to plan, I WILL NO LONGER BE A HOMEOWNER!!! Yup, that's right...i'm FINALLY going to closing in New York this Tuesday - I've already made my last mortgage and maintenance payment. I'm thrilled! Such a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I will erase my debt and still have a large chunk to invest....then I can move forward with my life masterplan....oh yes, I have more clarity in regards to my goals and how to achieve them over the next five years...however, that will be another post.
November 4, 2007
NYC MARATHON!!! I can't believe it's almost here - and on top of that, I can't believe how excited I am. I've been on quite the journey from running my first qualifier in January 2006 to now, which my faithful blog followers are aware of (if you don't know, I recapped everything in December 2006 and January 2007). Even just 6 weeks ago, I was questioning whether or not I would be able to do this marathon due to my lingering injuries that have plagued me for close to a year. But now, i'm feeling great, and for the most part i'm feeling ready. I am a bit hesitant, mainly because of the fear of reinjuring myself. It was such a dark road leading up to recovery, I don't want to go back there.
I was ready to defer my entry to the NYC Marathon to next year - I had convinced myself this was the best thing to do. But there is one person out there who I give full credit to who never gave up on me and believed I could do this - my coach. He's given me encouragement and a training plan that is getting me to the start stronger and healthier than i've been in over a year. He's a genious - he's amazing. I'm so thankful to have found him.
Thoughts in my mind
I always talk about having a work/life balance. I've struggled to find this recently, commuting over 300 miles a week in terrible traffic and having work obligations that go out of the 9-5 structure. School is important to me. Training is important to me. My family and friends are important to me. My professional sports obsession is important to me. The one thing that isn't as important to me right now is my work - and that's just an awful thing to feel and say. It's not fair to anyone - to my company or to myself. The organization I work for does some wonderful things. I may not always enjoy or agree with some of the people I work with, but they are good people and their heart is in the right place. I feel guilty that my heart isn't 100% into it. But I can't force it. It really has nothing to do with the company - I just fell into the line of work that i'm in and gave it a decent shot for the past seven years. But looking ahead, knowing i'll be working for at least another 30 years, I know that things will have to change if i'm going to be happy. It's not easy to make such a big change, but i'm slowly figuring it out in a way that will be beneficial to everybody involved. When it happens, i'll fill you in.
One of my dreams is to go visit South Africa....I know this is out of left field, but it's been in the back of my mind for some time. I met a woman from Zimbabwe today - her husand, who is American, told me visiting Africa is a spiritually life-changing experience. To meet the natives, many of whom have so little and know suffering more than most of us do - yet they smile and want to give. They don't feel they are entitled the way we do in industrialized nations. He suggested with my expertise in fundraising, I could volunteer my time to educate others over there on various fundraising methods, then stay to explore. It's something i'm considering...but i'd really love to find a travel partner to share this experience with. Someday....
October 29, 2007
I have a biology exam on unit II - mostly cell biology, cell division and the like. I've been a bad student this semester - i've hardly gotten any work done. I will take responsbility for this....my life is incredibly hectic and it is difficult to do all my homework and studying, but it's not impossible. And here I am, blogging away instead of studying for this exam....So it's my fault and I have to accept how I do based on the amount of effort I put into it. Instead of stressing myself out about how much has to get done, i've adopted an outlook of every section or chapter I master is more points for me than before I had studied. Being stressed isn't going to make it any easier, so why not try to alleviate that stress...
AND GET ON TOP OF MY STUDYING!!!
October 30, 2007
As long as everything goes according to plan, I WILL NO LONGER BE A HOMEOWNER!!! Yup, that's right...i'm FINALLY going to closing in New York this Tuesday - I've already made my last mortgage and maintenance payment. I'm thrilled! Such a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I will erase my debt and still have a large chunk to invest....then I can move forward with my life masterplan....oh yes, I have more clarity in regards to my goals and how to achieve them over the next five years...however, that will be another post.
November 4, 2007
NYC MARATHON!!! I can't believe it's almost here - and on top of that, I can't believe how excited I am. I've been on quite the journey from running my first qualifier in January 2006 to now, which my faithful blog followers are aware of (if you don't know, I recapped everything in December 2006 and January 2007). Even just 6 weeks ago, I was questioning whether or not I would be able to do this marathon due to my lingering injuries that have plagued me for close to a year. But now, i'm feeling great, and for the most part i'm feeling ready. I am a bit hesitant, mainly because of the fear of reinjuring myself. It was such a dark road leading up to recovery, I don't want to go back there.
I was ready to defer my entry to the NYC Marathon to next year - I had convinced myself this was the best thing to do. But there is one person out there who I give full credit to who never gave up on me and believed I could do this - my coach. He's given me encouragement and a training plan that is getting me to the start stronger and healthier than i've been in over a year. He's a genious - he's amazing. I'm so thankful to have found him.
Thoughts in my mind
I always talk about having a work/life balance. I've struggled to find this recently, commuting over 300 miles a week in terrible traffic and having work obligations that go out of the 9-5 structure. School is important to me. Training is important to me. My family and friends are important to me. My professional sports obsession is important to me. The one thing that isn't as important to me right now is my work - and that's just an awful thing to feel and say. It's not fair to anyone - to my company or to myself. The organization I work for does some wonderful things. I may not always enjoy or agree with some of the people I work with, but they are good people and their heart is in the right place. I feel guilty that my heart isn't 100% into it. But I can't force it. It really has nothing to do with the company - I just fell into the line of work that i'm in and gave it a decent shot for the past seven years. But looking ahead, knowing i'll be working for at least another 30 years, I know that things will have to change if i'm going to be happy. It's not easy to make such a big change, but i'm slowly figuring it out in a way that will be beneficial to everybody involved. When it happens, i'll fill you in.
One of my dreams is to go visit South Africa....I know this is out of left field, but it's been in the back of my mind for some time. I met a woman from Zimbabwe today - her husand, who is American, told me visiting Africa is a spiritually life-changing experience. To meet the natives, many of whom have so little and know suffering more than most of us do - yet they smile and want to give. They don't feel they are entitled the way we do in industrialized nations. He suggested with my expertise in fundraising, I could volunteer my time to educate others over there on various fundraising methods, then stay to explore. It's something i'm considering...but i'd really love to find a travel partner to share this experience with. Someday....
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Catching up
Lots of catching up to do here - although i'm not really feeling like i'm in the writing mood, so i'll just give you a few highlights and random thoughts.
I've somehow become a weekend warrior. My coach had put 11 hours of workouts on my schedule this week, which is definately manageable. However, over 7 hours of it was scheduled to take place only over this weekend. It started out with a 5 hour (Yes, that's 300 minutes) bike ride on Saturday, followed by a 13-14 mile run on Sunday (a little over 2 hours). The purpose of these workouts is to build my endurance for the NYC marathon that is 4 weeks from today. These workouts aren't hard in terms of intensity - in fact, I have to keep my Hearrate below a certain range so it ends up being slower than i'm capable of - but it is tiring. And after covering about 85 miles through running and biking in a 24 hour period, especially in these unseasonably warm weather, i'm feeling sore and worn. Someone died running the Chicago Marathon today - the course was 90 degrees - I really hope we come into more seasonable weather in these next four weeks because the heat kicked my butt on my run today and that was only half the distance.
I know Jenna wanted me to talk about this - Philadelphia sports. I just don't know what to say about the Eagles - with the exception of slaughtering the Lions, we've played just awful. I don't know what happened to the offensive line during the Giants game - Donovan got sacked I don't even know how many times...seriously, it wouldn't surprise me if the stats were double digits for sacks. And we got KILLED on penalties - I think by the end of the game we had racked up at least, if not more than 100 yards of penalties. It's just ugly. They're still my team - i'm not a fairweather fan - but I will be pissed during the season if they keep playing this way - and I reserve that right.
Phillies - what an amazing few weeks it has been. They really turned it on at the end of the season, and to take the NL East on the final day of the season was spectacular! I was running up West River Drive during my long run and all the cars heading Westbound on 76 were honking their horns with their rally towels waving in the wind - we had alot of hope going into the postseason. How could you not love this team? Howard, Utley, Victorino, Rowand, Rollins, etc. - so much personality and lovable characters on this team. They've made it very exciting to watch them and I greatly enjoyed spending much more time at Citizens Bank Park this season. This is the team that ran onto the field in Colorado to help the grounds crew with the tarp during a rain delay (i'll post a video of this later).
The Division series hits, and our bats went silent. I don't know what happened. It was shocking and disappointing. Oddly, i'm not devastated - because this team gives me hope. I feel like this is just a precursor to succesful years to come. 2009 is going to be a good year for Philadelphia sports - not saying that nothing will happen in 2008, but my gut is telling me that something big is going to happen in 2009.
I want to talk about work and school - my brain is constantly in overdrive thinking about this aspect of my life. I come to different conclusions everyday - this is something i'll blog about in more detail later.
On a side not, I went down to Cape Henlopen with my team last weekend as many of them competed in a triathlon there. I wasn't allowed to do it - it didn't fit in with my training schedule for the NYC Marathon - but I still wanted to go and cheer my team on and I looked forward to being an official volunteer of this race - see what it's like from the "other side". All I have to say is I GREATLY enjoyed getting to bodymark some very nicely toned, hard male triathlete bodies. :)
I've somehow become a weekend warrior. My coach had put 11 hours of workouts on my schedule this week, which is definately manageable. However, over 7 hours of it was scheduled to take place only over this weekend. It started out with a 5 hour (Yes, that's 300 minutes) bike ride on Saturday, followed by a 13-14 mile run on Sunday (a little over 2 hours). The purpose of these workouts is to build my endurance for the NYC marathon that is 4 weeks from today. These workouts aren't hard in terms of intensity - in fact, I have to keep my Hearrate below a certain range so it ends up being slower than i'm capable of - but it is tiring. And after covering about 85 miles through running and biking in a 24 hour period, especially in these unseasonably warm weather, i'm feeling sore and worn. Someone died running the Chicago Marathon today - the course was 90 degrees - I really hope we come into more seasonable weather in these next four weeks because the heat kicked my butt on my run today and that was only half the distance.
I know Jenna wanted me to talk about this - Philadelphia sports. I just don't know what to say about the Eagles - with the exception of slaughtering the Lions, we've played just awful. I don't know what happened to the offensive line during the Giants game - Donovan got sacked I don't even know how many times...seriously, it wouldn't surprise me if the stats were double digits for sacks. And we got KILLED on penalties - I think by the end of the game we had racked up at least, if not more than 100 yards of penalties. It's just ugly. They're still my team - i'm not a fairweather fan - but I will be pissed during the season if they keep playing this way - and I reserve that right.
Phillies - what an amazing few weeks it has been. They really turned it on at the end of the season, and to take the NL East on the final day of the season was spectacular! I was running up West River Drive during my long run and all the cars heading Westbound on 76 were honking their horns with their rally towels waving in the wind - we had alot of hope going into the postseason. How could you not love this team? Howard, Utley, Victorino, Rowand, Rollins, etc. - so much personality and lovable characters on this team. They've made it very exciting to watch them and I greatly enjoyed spending much more time at Citizens Bank Park this season. This is the team that ran onto the field in Colorado to help the grounds crew with the tarp during a rain delay (i'll post a video of this later).
The Division series hits, and our bats went silent. I don't know what happened. It was shocking and disappointing. Oddly, i'm not devastated - because this team gives me hope. I feel like this is just a precursor to succesful years to come. 2009 is going to be a good year for Philadelphia sports - not saying that nothing will happen in 2008, but my gut is telling me that something big is going to happen in 2009.
I want to talk about work and school - my brain is constantly in overdrive thinking about this aspect of my life. I come to different conclusions everyday - this is something i'll blog about in more detail later.
On a side not, I went down to Cape Henlopen with my team last weekend as many of them competed in a triathlon there. I wasn't allowed to do it - it didn't fit in with my training schedule for the NYC Marathon - but I still wanted to go and cheer my team on and I looked forward to being an official volunteer of this race - see what it's like from the "other side". All I have to say is I GREATLY enjoyed getting to bodymark some very nicely toned, hard male triathlete bodies. :)
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