It's a go...

After speaking with my coach today, he crafted a new training plan for me with the goal of running the NYC Marathon. November 4th - less than 7 weeks away. God help me!!!

utterly defeated

i'm sick - i'm physically ill after watching the Eagles go down to be 0-2 to start this season...and we're 0-2 having lost to the Packers and Redskins...both of whom weren't even .500 teams last year. None of this might make any sense - i'm not going to censor my thoughts. I just need to rant and get it out...

Charles Barkley's commentary on TV during the game pissed me off - talking about Philly fans - saying we don't give the respect to McNabb and Reid that he thinks they deserve. Saying we turn on them so quickly - that we've already turned. Look buddy - it's always a tease with this team - they get our hopes up only to be devastated at a big game in the postseason - but you know what? I still come back every time - I still let you charge me more and more money every season - I still pay ridiculous amounts of money on the black market to follow the team on the road for both regular season and post season games. I have the right to be upset and boo when we don't win - when we don't play the way we're capable of playing. But having been to quite a few stadiums across the country, I have to say I haven't experienced the diehard fandom - those who eat, live, and breath their team the way Eagles fans do. We boo because we care dickhead! You're still salty about your time here. You just don't understand the anatomy of the Philadelphia sports fan.

I'm going to be in a foul mood the next few days over this...but I won't give up on my team. I remember starting the season 0-2 in 2003, then after a 3rd week bye, Joe and I caught them up in Buffalo for their first win of the season. This was the same year that Westbrook had something like a 98 yard return for a touchdown in the last minutes of the 4th quarter against the Giants a few weeks after that. Even last season, after McNabb went down vs. the Titans on 11-19, we came back under Garcia's lead and made it to the divisional game in the postseason. We're just waiting to get back to that big game and win that trophy. Anything can happen - but we have to start gelling on the field. The momentum is off. We're too tentative - we're not aggresive enough - I don't see any confidence out there on the field with our guys in green. But i'm not going to stop believing in them.

The red sox lost, yankees won, mets lost, and the Phillies barely won (they blew an 11 run lead at one point) - so on the baseball front it was a very good night for me. I need to be thinking of that as I fall asleep tonight so I can have happy dreams and start tomorrow off on a better note...

PDR Half-marathon race report

This was my first running race since I injured myself during the Philadelphia Marathon 10 months ago. My legs haven't always responded favorably to my run training during my recovery and my coach shut down the majority of my run training the past few weeks because of it. I was very nervous for this race. I wasn't sure I was ready since I hadn't done a long run in several weeks and more shorter weekly runs were very easy. I was still staying on top of my swim and bike training - I just wasn't sure how that would translate into a running race effort.

So PJ and Jenna came to pick me up around 6:30 am this morning and we headed downtown. Unexpected traffic made it a little close for Jenna and I to make it to the start line in time, but we did with a few minutes to spare. I lined up in corral #8 with the other runners who anticipated finishing in 2 hours. My personal best was a 2:06:19 and my initial goal for this race was to break 2 hours. Now that I was at the starting line, I tucked that goal away in the back of my head and really just wanted to finish in one piece without reinjury.

It was a crisp morning, nearing 60 degrees at the start, and sunny - ideal running weather. So much better than last year's PDR which was around 80 degrees and quite humid. Also if you recall, I was sick as a dog with some kind of upper respiratory thing and on a steroid pack to get rid of it. So in a way, this was some sort of redemption.

I crossed the starting mat and almost immediately we were heading directly into the sun as it was rising. Because you are packed in with so many other runners, the pace starts out slowly - which is just what I needed. Every few miles along the course were live bands playing. Around mile 2 or 3, the Eagles Pep band was playing its standard Eagles Fight Song - it put a spring into my step.

Accelarade was the sponsor of this race and I had only trained with gatorade. Even though I know its not good to experiment with anything new during a race, water for 13.1 miles wasn't going to cut it, and I was only taking my gu gel at miles 5 & 10. So just before mile 7, I grabbed an Accelarade at the water stop - BIG mistake. I almost immediately felt sick to my stomach. It made the next few miles a little tough for me. But still, I had been checking my watch at every mile marker - and I was close to being on pace to break 2 hours.

I hit the water stop at mile 10 and refueled with my gu - then I felt that extra kick knowing it was the last 5K. Funny how when you know you're getting closer to the end, it seems to be more agonzing and it never gets there. I hit mile 11 and it seemed like a long mile. I hit mile 12, looked at the watch and it read 1:50 and a few seconds. I had to run the last 1.1 miles in less than 10 minutes. I had been running between a 9 - 9:30 MM pace the entire time so it seemed doable. I kept trying to pick up the pace - but my body didn't really respond. This made me get in my head a little bit and a few times I had to talk myself out of walking the last few 100 meters.

I didn't seem to have anything in me to be able to sprint to the finish - if I had I would have achieved my goal - my offical chip time was 2:00:07. You know what, i'm not going to kill myself over those 7 seconds. This was a huge day for me - I was skeptical that the program my Tri coach had me on wasn't going to get me there - but it did. And not only that, it gave me a new PR (Personal Record) by more than 6 minutes! AND, on top of that, I really didn't have any physical ailments whatsoever - no shin splits or achilles flare up or hip soreness. A few aches and pains here and there, but it was all manageable.

My coach actually rode his bike leading the professional field (the winner was a Kenyan (I know, what a shocker!) who finished in 1:02:02) and I happened to bump into him after the race. We chatted briefly and I told him i'd get in touch with him this week to discuss the next steps. He's been in marathon mode for me this entire time, and I haven't. Now, i'm realizing I might be convinced - although i'm still nervous.

On the car ride home, Jenna and PJ told me I should listen to my coach - and they did point out that he got me to this race with considerably less run training yet I still finished feeling good (during the race anyway - afterwards I got a bit stiff and sore) and setting a PR. And I also spoke to my trainer Lee who basically said I just have to get over it - it's all in my head - it's just fear.

I'm going to see how my body responds to this race this next few days, then my coach and I will make a decision....so stay tuned!!

Time Warp

After I wrote the last post, the Phillies and Yankees both swept the Mets and Red Sox respectively - so I was on a high. On my drive to my swim class after work, I got a call from Lee, the trainer I worked with in NY. We chatted about bikes and training, etc. and i'm excited to go up to upstate NY this fall to ride with him. So I arrived at my swim class happy and ready to tackle the 400 meter field test. I was eager to see what kind of improvement I had made over the course of the summer.

My coach had emailed me earlier in the week, telling me I should do extremely well on this test - that I had made great strides in my swim. I felt like I had it in me as well, and considering my last tri swim was less than stellar, I wanted to make up for it and prove to myself that I could do it.

There were two people in each lane - the guy I was sharing the lane with had been slower than I was the entire class - actually, almost everyone had been. So we start and out of the corner of my eye, I see another guy just on the other side of my rope, and we and neck and neck. All of the sudden, I felt like I had to race him - it wasn't me against the clock, it was me against him. Instead of giving me fuel to go stronger, this thought of racing someone else started giving me anxiety - then my stroke started to deteriorate and my breath was uneven and my thoughts became negative. I basically broke down - I wanted to cry. This was ALL in my head. So I slowed down and just started swimming at a comfortable pace - I let go of trying to get a good time - now I just needed to finish it.

I ended up finishing it only 3 seconds faster than the time I did 9 weeks prior - I was quite upset. On the one hand, knowing that initial time was a bit of a push and this wasn't at all, I knew quite a bit of progress had been made - I just couldn't quantify it. But this poison in my brain needs to stop - I need to stop psyching myself out - just haven't figured out how to do this.

I was pretty upset that night as I went to bed - however, the next day, my coach wrote to me some really sound advice that resonated within me. He did acknowledge that I had some anxiety during the time trial and that my current level and ability wasn't reflected in that test. He wrote a bunch of other things but the one thing that stood out to me was that in my swim (and all three sports for that matter), it wasn't about trying to go fast - it's about getting the movement down and internalizing the focus on making that movement the best it could be. That makes total sense to me - it's like dancing - you look within to let it come out. I have that kind of control and feel for my body and how to execute the movement. It's not about all the external distractors, the course, the other competitors, the weather, etc - it's about me doing the best from within. This is what i'm going to focus on and hopefully start to rid myself of these mental demons.


On another note, this labor day weekend, I found myself bringing out my old Felicity DVDs - it's been at least a year and a half since I last watched them. They're so addictive! I've gotten through all of seasons 1 & 2 again. The first time around I liked Noel - this time I think I like Ben better. Go figure.