It was dark as I was driving to pick up Jenna to go to the PDR (half-marathon) last week as well - just not as sticky. I thought I was going to hack up a lung in the car on the way with the virus I had and was on some serious medications for. I started to wonder if maybe running in this race today wasn't such a good idea for me. But, I was on my way, and I was just looking at it as a crucial training run, so there was no turning back now. It was a bright, clear morning with the sun blinding us as we turned onto Market street heading east on the first mile. Around mile marker 3, a welcoming familiar sight and sound greeted us - it was none other than the Eagles Pep Band singing and playing our anthem, which gave me a little surge in step as I began singing/screaming with them. "Fly, Eagles, Fly......,
I was going at a steady, slow 10 minute/mile pace. In my last Half-Marathon in Queens last spring, I began running at this pace to ensure I had enough energy for a negative split (where i'd run the last half of the race faster than the first). My goal wasn't to get any faster this time around...it was simply to finish. By mile 5, I reached to the back of my fuel belt to grab my gel pack - I was in serious need of energy. But the mere thought of trying to wash down the frosting like substance at that moment made me want to vomit. My stomach wasn't happy with me. What to do? I need energy, but then again, vomiting on the side would make me lose even more energy. So, I pressed on knowing that for the next 8 miles, I'd just have to pray that my body would find energy stocked up elsewhere, because the gels just weren't going to go down.
About this time, a man with long gray hair in beat up sneakers, a very worn t- shirt, denim looking shorts carrying an American Flag over his head ran up next to me and announced "We're almost there". Silence. "I'm telling you, no one seems to believe me, but we're almost there". We all knew we weren't even halfway there as we began heading west on Martin Luther King Drive. So I responded "I want to believe you". "I want to believe me too, even though it's hard to right now," he replied.
I was coming up to mile 6 now and my stomach began to cramp. So, I pulled up on the sidewalk next to the river and slowed to a walk to catch my breath and work through my upset stomach. I was angry with myself - I should at least be running the entire 13 miles and not taking walk breaks. But I was hot, and tired, and feeling ill and I started to wonder, can I do this today? I believe that God listens and sends you answers because at that moment, a girl ran up next to me and started walking with me. We talked and walked for a minute or two. Her name was Danielle - originally from Lehigh Valley she now lives in DC. She suffers from asthma and was having a difficult time today. After our little chat I said, "ok, let's get going" and we were off, picking up a trot. "I'm going to run to that bridge up there" she said, and I followed. This is what I love about runners. Complete strangers, competing in an individual sport, yet the comraderie is arguably stronger than most team sports I know. You don't think twice about helping another runner who seems to be struggling. As we were running to the bridge, we past two women walking and heard one of them proclaim, "My goal is just to finish". Danielle responded "Me too". Wanting to affirm her proclamation, I turned around, looked at this woman in the eyes and said "You will." "Thank you" she said with a smile. We would all finish. We were all in this together.
The last half of the race I battled mental demons but got pulled out of my rut. Running by a steel drum band put a spring in my step as well as a group of high school cheerleaders with Mickey Mouse as their mascot who gave me a high five as I ran past. Once I saw that finish line I sprinted with all that I had left. It was a tough race for me - a slow race, but I finished, and that's all that mattered.
I read an article in Runner's World on the train ride home Tuesday about the spirituality of running. The author wrote how he focuses on breathing, hearing foot strikes on the ground, and takes in his surroundings to feel the energy of the universe propel him along the path. As I was running my intervals on a track near my house, I began thinking of what that article was all about. I noticed my focus was on the ground, just a few feet in front of me. It was a bit difficult to do because this focus has become habitual for me, but I forced myself to look up at my surroundings. I witnessed a beautiful orange with fluffy white clouds twilight sky. The cool night breeze was carrying the scent of fresh cut grass. The crickets were beginning their serenade. Despite the fact that I was on even more medication this day than I was just two days prior when running in the half-marathon, the mental demons were gone. I finally found that zone, that elusive runners zone where your mind transcends your physical being.
Back in the parking lot, I began filling my bottles with water when I realized I didn't have any gatorade. It's not ideal, but i'll survive I tell myself. I'm trying to ignore the thoughts at the forefront of my mind which is reminding me that this will be the longest distance I have ever run to date. '15 miles - no biggie - just two short miles longer than the half-marathon distance i've run a bunch of times' I would think to myself. 'Pay no attention to the 90% humidity factor'.
There was no longer 4 color groups - only 1 group of runners now who would meet at the same time and complete one of two distances at the pace most comfortable to them. One group would be running in the half-marathon portion of the Philadelphia marathon and the others are aiming to run the full marathon. Some are running in the Marine Corps marathon a few weeks earlier than the rest of us, so they add on or take away mileage as needed based on the calendar. So 7:15 comes and we all head out towards the trail. We are heading out to the 26 mile marker from 29.5 and back - then going through a parking lot to the river trail which is another 3 miles out and back that leads us to the last stretch on the way back to our meeting area. Sound confusing? It was too me. I wasn't really sure where to pick up this River trail.
Normally, i'd be ok because there would be a large group of runners on the course and I'd be running in the general vicinity of some of them. But looking at this group, there was a handful of green(the fastest) and yellow (the group that i'm in) runners, and I knew the yellow runners that were present were closer to the green pace than I was. In a long distance like this, I would fall behind this pack. Yet, i'd be ahead of the red group runners most likely by quite a bit of distance.
The initial part of this trail is straight, so I could see the pack in front of me despite the growing distance between us. With the first turn around about 4 to 4.5 miles into the run, the lead pack was a few hundred meters in front of me at this point. So each of them gave me a thumbs up or a wave as they passed, saying the turn around was just ahead. After I reached the first turn-around, the distance began to grow even more between the lead pack and myself. I'd look over my shoulder every now and then to see if perhaps another runner was catching up to me but no such luck.
Six miles of this training run was on a small river trail three miles out and back. I had never been on this trail and the entrance to it was not easy to find, but fortunately a coach was waiting in the second parking lot to point me in the right direction. I had been running for close to an hour and a half at this point and the trail was desolate. No other humans in sight - just trees, the rocks on the trail, and the mirky river water flowing next to me. It had been overcast this whole time but not a single drop of rain during my run - till all of the sudden, the skies opened up and began pouring. The trees shielded me from being completely soaked. But the rain was strong enough to run into my eyes and cloud my vision. The raindrops were cold and it felt wonderful and rejuvenating. I felt like a little kid, running and playing in the rain. I found myself wanting splash around in puddles, but there were none to be found on this trail. Just wet and sometimes muddy earth.
About 20 minutes or so into this trail, the lead pack passed me on their way back. They had begun to spread out at this point. So much so that when I got to this second turn-around, a girl that had been in the lead pack was no more than 250 meters ahead of me. In the last mile, I caught up with her. She looked at me with surprise. "You really caught up," she said. "I always try to pick it up in the end," I responded. And it's true - i'm always aiming for a negative split. The longer these runs get, the more difficult it is to pick it up in the end. Physically, I felt like crawling to the end - mentally is where I need to find that break through, and it is very difficult to come by. I have to find inspiration from somewhere - being alone for 2 and a half hours on a 15 mile run is not an easy feat. But seeing that I had caught up to someone in the lead pack in the last 5k gave me hope - gave me that extra umph I needed to finish strong and leave everything I had out there on that trail.
As soon as I stopped running and began walking back to the picnic table to refuel on gatorade and bananas, the pain set in. I was stiff and the pain in my lower back and hip made me hobble. I was tired, very tired, but elated. Most people in the lead pack had run in marathons before but they knew this would be my first. And they knew this had been my longest run to date. They offered words of encouragement and congratulated me on not only finishing, but finishing strong - not too far behind them.
The demons began creeping into my head again - 'If you're this tired after 15 miles, how are you going to add on another 11??'. But I squelched those thoughts - I had finished the 15 miles in the same time I had finished the 13 miles the weekend before - and I was still under the weather. So i'm only going to be getting better from here on out. I don't know how i'm going to finish 26.2 miles on November 19th - but somehow, I will. I'm so excited about that.
On a side note, i'm not sure anyone but Jenna is reading this (you rock girl!!). If you are reading this, give me a shout out and let me know what you think.
